Rented Love
by heartlessromantic667
Summary: Love is blind, beautiful, but most of all temporary- and seventeen year old Eric Forman must learn how to love and lose the one person who has always been there.
1. Wrong

**_Author's Note: Hello all! This is definitely new territory as this is my first slash fic. And the pairing is two very straight characters. Anywho, I figured I'd take a stab at this, thanks to a very well known author, twiniitowers, who is also my BETA for this story. I have to thank her so much for all of the help, advice, and guidance that she's given me, and also for being a good friend. So, this goes out to you Carol- the entire story :). _**

**_I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and this story. I'd like to know what you think also; whether or not I should continue or give up._**

**_Thanks! _**

**_Much Love,  
><em>**

**_Angie_**

* * *

><p>"Hyde, there's something wrong with me... I swear," the scrawny seventeen-year-old Eric Forman whined as he shut the basement door, head hung low. He had grabbed the older boy's attention from the magazine he had been reading. As always, an amused smirk began to creep on his best friend's lips; Eric's silent sign for him to continue speaking. "I shouldn't have kissed her after Todd Rundgren, I should have gone inside. I mean, the kiss was good, I guess, but there's something off!" He paused and turned to the curly-haired boy, expecting some sort of comment. Yet when Hyde just stared at him, Eric sighed and collapsed on the couch. "I figure it's because we're so close. Like brother and sister... she's beautiful, but I just... I can't get over how we're like siblings. The days where she'd shove me on the ground and force me to eat dirt-" that earned a chuckle, "and the <em>'you're my brother, Eric, I love you.<em>' Damn... I'm out of my mind to not be attracted to her!" Eric cried in distress.

But there was more. More that Eric wasn't saying, the real reason there was something wrong with him. This disgusting being within him that caused him turmoil at night. That scraped at his mind, clawed at his inner wants and wishes that had blinded him, especially tonight.

"Yeah, she's not bad," was all Hyde had said. Eric grimaced and faced his best friend once more, not sure what to say. But surprisingly, he didn't have to say another word.

"So, you don't like her, big deal. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you." Hyde mumbled, sliding his legs off of the coffee table corner that they had been resting on. A loud cracking noise was heard after he twisted each of his ankles.

"But that's..." Eric trailed off, trying his hardest to remain calm. To not spill his guts to his best friend, or tell him what happened tonight. Or what it felt like, how right it was... that was what was wrong with him. That's why he was wrong. Everything about him was all messed up.

Hyde just scoffed and crossed his arms, letting the Mad magazine he had been reading fall to the floor. The sound of fluttering pages filled the silence and Eric almost felt like running.

Already he could feel the judging eyes of his best friend. That's why he wore the sunglasses after all. He was sitting there, silent, staring at each of them as he sized them up. He could tell what made them tick and what made them talk. He could read them like an open book, and that's what terrified Eric. He didn't want to be read.

"Whatever man, calm down. No need to use the squeaky voice, I'm not your mom, you know," Hyde grumbled, then sighed heavily. "So what're you gonna do?"

Eric shrugged his shoulders as he bent his knees so he was laying in a near fetal position. He felt so small, so caged. He could hear the scorn in Hyde's voice and it made him nauseous. Unless that was just his paranoid mind- but he wasn't the one with that sort of mind frame. Until now.

"I'm going to have to tell Donna I don't like her... but I can't hurt her."

"Is the chick you're after better than her?" Hyde suddenly asked, which caused Eric to nearly stop breathing. The fact that there wasn't a chick that caused him to not want to be with Donna scared him. There was no one causing him to not be with the hottest chick in Point Place except himself. And it was driving him insane.

"There isn't another girl," Eric mumbled woefully, running his hand over his face as he tried to clear his head. The silence was practically suffocating as Eric waited for a response from Hyde. Slowly he pulled his hands from his eyes and peeked at Hyde, who wore a grin on his face.

"What?" Eric finally asked, the smug beam grew wider on his friend. Eric rolled his eyes and raised an eyebrow.

"So who's the _guy_?"

Eric's heart nearly dropped to his stomach at the accusation Hyde had just pinned on Eric. He thought he was... a queer? Homosexual... was gay the right term? He didn't even know how to define it these days. But what scared him was that he had guessed... spot on.

"What? Guy? There is no guy! Come on!" Eric squeaked. Hyde shook his head and sat up straighter as his entertainment for the evening continued.

"Sure... you're just in denial. That's the first step, Eric." The younger boy's tense expression dropped to an open jaw at the boy in front of him. He never called him Eric, the name sounded foreign coming from Hyde's tongue... it felt wrong.

"What did you just call me?" Eric asked in shocked tone, rather than disgusted. Hyde cocked an eyebrow and shrugged his shoulders.

"What?" He sounded just as confused as Eric, "Forman," he answered slowly, then continued talking, "What does that have to do with anything, man?" Eric shook his head and felt his frustration grow stronger. Except now it was towards someone else rather than himself.

"No, you called me Eric-"

"I did not, now stop trying to change the subject, _Forman_."

"What subject, I'm not a queer, Hyde!" Eric was yelling now, he was passed the squeaky voice.

He couldn't help but lie. He didn't know what the hell would happen after he admitted that he thought he may be homosexual. Especially to the straightest guy he had ever met. And once it would be out, everyone would know. He'd have to leave town, even though he wasn't even sure if he was gay or not. He couldn't let that happen to him.

"Whatever," Hyde sang, smirking at Eric, who just glowered at him. "What'd you do tonight?" Since when did Hyde take an interest in what Eric did? That was odd for Hyde. He expected that from Fez or even Kelso, but Hyde didn't give two shits about what anyone did. Ever.

"I went to the movies with Buddy," Eric answered simply.

He wasn't going to tell Hyde that their hands touched in the popcorn bucket and that Eric didn't mind. Or that Buddy hadn't ordered a soda, unlike Eric. Or that Buddy had kissed him and that while he freaked out, Eric had secretly sort of liked it. Or that when Buddy had dropped him off after twenty minutes of awkward silence, he had kissed him once more. And he had kissed back.

"Ohh... did you kiss?" Hyde teased, wearing his ever present smirk.

"No! God, Hyde, I'm not gay!"

"You're blushing."

"I am not!" But he was, his cheeks were hot and at this point, he almost felt like giving up. Telling Hyde that he was just so he would leave him alone about it. But he couldn't risk it.

"Whatever," Hyde grumbled suddenly, and stood up from his chair. Eric tilted his head in confusion and watched as Hyde began to walk to the door. "I'm outta hear, this room is practically suffocating me with denial." Eric rolled his eyes and picked up Kelso's super ball and watched as Hyde turned to the door.

Eric pulled back his hand and chucked the multi-colored ball at Hyde's head, hitting him square in the neck. The splatter painted ball ricocheted to the floor and bounced all the way under the freezer. Hyde froze in his spot and for a second, Eric considered zipping up the stairs to find a hiding place in his room. He was waiting for Hyde to turn around and start punching him in retaliation to the thrown bouncy ball.

But as Hyde turned around, Eric noticed that instead of an angry expression, he looked about ready to throw up. His hand, quivering slightly seemed to blindly search for the wall for support. But before he could press his weight, the curly haired teen collapsed on the ground.

Eric's eyes nearly bugged out of his sockets as he stared at his friend in front of him, who wasn't making any signs of movement. But he relaxed, knowing Hyde was probably just trying to trick him. As soon as Eric would walk up to him, Hyde would punch him, laugh, and leave.

"Okay, Hyde, real funny... but after a couple years it gets old." Eric barked, waiting to see a certain finger gesture from both of Hyde's hands. Or a muffled 'get bent' from his face on the cement floor. But after a few seconds, it appeared that Hyde wasn't even breathing. "All right... you got me, joke's over!" Eric cried softly, voice cracking with the slight fear that began to creep through his bloodstream.

As moments that seemed like hours passed, Eric's concern grew stronger. He stood there, nearly frozen as he waited for any movement, whether it was a twitch or a sudden leap from his best friend. In fact, he wouldn't even be mad at Hyde, at least not right away. But the seconds seemed to drag and Eric finally realized that Hyde wasn't joking around. He had really passed out.

"Oh my God," Eric exclaimed, bending down to Hyde and punched his arm. His mom had told him that slapping or punching someone would wake them from unconsciousness. "Hyde, wake up, man!" Eric cried, taking a deep breath as he fought to turn him over. This was the first time he truly hated his scrawniness. As he pressed two fingers to Hyde's neck, he felt his cold skin was drenched with sweat- yet it was nearly winter in Wisconsin and he wasn't wearing heavy clothing.

After several punches and a slap to the face, Eric felt his eyes burn as he tried to keep composure. This was his best friend on the ground and there wasn't a damn thing he could do to help him. After all, he didn't know what the hell was wrong with him... if anything. Was this from drinking or drugs, or was he actually sick? Suddenly, a thought flashed like a light bulb in Eric's mind; while he couldn't do anything to help him, there was someone in the house who could.

"MOM!" Eric screamed, launching himself to the bottom of the wooden stairs that lead to the kitchen. His feet quickly pounded on the creaky steps as fast as he possibly could. He heard the padding of feet above him near the basement door and he hurried his running. "I need help!" He shouted right as the door opened.

Kitty Forman stood in front of him, three fourths of her hair put up in curlers and in her nightgown and robe.  
>"Sweetie, what's going on?" She asked calmly, yet appeared to have been woken up. Eric pointed downstairs and felt his lips move, but no words came out. "Shh... honey, calm down, is someone hurt?"<p>

"Hyde, he... I don't know... I just threw a ball at him!" He watched his mom's slightly annoyed face grow ashen as confusion fell upon her.

"And what happened after that?" She asked simply. In desperation, Eric grabbed her hand and started tugging her downstairs as he explained to her what happened to Hyde.

"He just fell, passed out. I thought he was joking, but he won't wake up! You gotta help him!" Eric cried, "a super ball can't do this, right?" Kitty laughed quietly as she rushed over to the boy lying on the ground.

"No, honey, but Steven will be fine, just help me lift him on the couch and go get me some water, okay?" She asked, reaching under Hyde's back to try and lift him. Eric grabbed his legs and prepared for a struggle to lift his stocky friend. Yet surprisingly, Hyde seemed to be nearly weightless, then again, he did have his legs.

Mother and son carefully laid the teen on the old couch in the basement. Eric watched as Kitty placed her hand on his forehead, then his neck to check his pulse. He shook his head, remembering that he had been given an order from his mother and zipped up the stairs once more.

His feet practically skidded across the floor as he crashed into the kitchen. The only thought than ran through his mind was getting the water. Was it supposed to be hot or cold? Ice water in a glass or lukewarm in a bowl? She had never specified.

He decided to make a compromise and filled a juice glass with ice water and a small bowl with room temperature water. His hands quivered as he lifted both dishes and took careful steps as he tip toed toward the stairs once more.

As Eric shut the door that lead to the basement, he heard deep coughing that couldn't have come from his mother. She must have somehow woken Hyde up. He could also hear his mom's voice as she murmured inaudibly to the teen on the couch.

Curiosity began to flood his brain- what could she be saying? Kitty was probably telling Hyde that he had passed out on the basement floor and that she was concerned about his health. Maybe she was scolding him for drinking, or lack of care to his health... they both sort of related.

Eric silently stepped off of the last step and waited to find out if the two downstairs heard him. He was shocked to see that his mom was completely oblivious to not only his reappearance but the loud creaking steps.

"-go to the hospital?" Eric's ears perked as he heard the end of Kitty's sentence. Was Hyde actually really sick? He had been fine up until Eric had thrown the ball.

_'What if I gave him a concussion?'_ Eric thought, his stomach reeling at the thought. He hadn't been aware that he was that strong, or that super balls could cause so much damage.

Another set of coughs interrupted Eric from his thoughts and he turned to look at Hyde. Bare blue eyes cast a locked glare on him, and Eric bit his lip nervously.

"No, I'm fine, Mrs. Forman." Hyde murmured hoarsely, "But I could really use some water, Forman," Kitty turned and laughed as she spotted her son at the stairs.

"Oh Eric! Thank you sweetie, I didn't need the bowl though..." Kitty trailed off, laughing nervously, after taking the glass from him, she began to hand it to Hyde. When she caught sight of his trembling hands, however, she quickly thought against handing him the glass. "Steven, sit up," she ordered.

The sound of a pain-filled grunt filled the room as Hyde slowly pulled himself into a leaning position. He wrinkled his nose as Kitty pressed the glass to his lips, yet he submitted and slowly sipped the water. "Honey?" Kitty turned to Eric, who stood in front of his weak friend and his mom, in a daze. "Is it okay if Steven sleeps in your room, it's closer to your father's and my bedroom, and I don't want him sleeping in the basement."As Eric opened his mouth to ask why he couldn't go home, Kitty sensed the question, and quickly provided the blunt answer. "And I am not allowing him to go home tonight, he needs someone to take care of him right now."

"Mrs. Forman, it's just the flu," he mumbled, not looking her in the eye.

Eric had a feeling that this wasn't just the flu, however. Hyde would have shown other signs that he was sick, and the entire time they were talking he seemed to be fine. He hadn't been to school a couple of days ago, however, yet that could have easily been him skipping for the hell of it. Yet if that's what Hyde believed, he and his mom would both go for it.

"Still, you're a growing boy who needs some TLC,"

"But I'm not hungry..." Kitty's eyes lit up as she giggled at her patient's mix up of letters.

"No, sweetie, tender loving care, you're thinking of a BLT." Hyde chuckled softly and shook his head slowly.

"Figures," he murmured sarcastically.

Eric wasn't sure what to think of the scene in front of him. He was used to seeing his mom in nurse mode, that was nothing new. Even if he had a scrape or a small cut she would do everything she could to make sure it wouldn't get infected.

What shocked him was Hyde. Eric wasn't used to him acting, or being so vulnerable. It was as if the guard he always wore vanished at the sight of Mrs. Forman. And he completely disregarded the fact that Eric was in the room. It was a complete personality change in one person, his best friend. No one ever saw the softer, more open side of Hyde, and it actually scared Eric.

"Eric?" the voice of his mother brought him right out of his daze. "Can you get Steven to his room? I'll get the cot for you to sleep on." The seventeen year old sighed and nodded as he approached Hyde "Thank you sweetie." He didn't say a word after his mom took off toward the stairs and eventually out of sight, leaving the two teens alone. The only sound that ran through Eric's ear drums were his mom's feet clicking up the stairs, and Hyde's short and stifled breathing.

Eric reached out his hand to give Hyde leverage, yet the sick teen ignored his efforts. As he watched Hyde quiver with ever move of his muscles, Eric felt his nausea worsen. Hyde was the strongest guy he knew; he could easily be a first string player on the football team. But here he was in front of him, too weak to stand up.

"Hyde, c'mon, I-"

"Shove off, Forman. I'm fine." Hyde growled softly, trying his hardest to mask the pain in his voice with anger.

Eric wasn't going to argue, so he chose to follow close behind the curly haired young man. Every step he took caused Eric to hold his breath in uncertainty. He was convinced Hyde was going to lose his footing and tumble down the stairs.

As the two reached the head of the staircase, Hyde stopped and slowly rested against the wooden railing. His eyes were shut as he rested his head against the wall, trying to regulate his erratic breathing.

"I wish I wasn't in this mess..." Eric heard him whisper, his knuckles white as he clutched to the railing. He stopped walking when he reached the same step as Hyde, and rested against the opposite wall.

"You just need sleep, you'll feel better tomorrow," Hyde scoffed and nodded slowly as he silently mocked him in his mind.

"Yup, a new day with the same old crap," Eric stared at him as he spoke, trying to figure out if there was more to what Hyde was saying. But even without the sunglasses he was as easy to read as Latin.

Once more, Eric didn't know what to say, so he kept his mouth shut. He figured Hyde would prefer the silence, anyway.

"So... are you ready to go upstairs?" Eric finally asked quietly. Hyde opened his eyes and stared at him blankly.

"No, but do I have a choice?" He asked, pushing open the door. Eric watched as he dragged his feet across the floor and nearly slumped over with every step. But he didn't want any help, so Eric wouldn't offer.

Eric followed Hyde into the living room and tried to control his impatience. He just wanted to get Hyde upstairs and in bed so he himself could sleep-

_'Wait, that didn't sound right,'_ Eric thought, shuddering violently as he took a watchful glance at Hyde momentarily.

Without a word, the two slowly made their way to Eric's bedroom. As Eric opened the door, they were greeted by Kitty fluffing Eric's Spiderman pillow before setting it on the cot.

"Oh good, Steven, lay down in Eric's bed, I'll take your temperature one more time before you sleep. Eric, you might as well go to bed, also." Eric nodded and turned away from his mom and Hyde to search for a pair of pajamas.

After choosing a pair of sweat pants and an old gray t-shirt he exited the tension filled bedroom. He sighed with relief after closing the door behind him. Eric didn't understand why this situation was so awkward, but he hated it.

As soon as he stepped into the bathroom, Eric's eyes stared in the mirror. Catching the lanky, scrawny reflection in front of him, he grimaced and turned away. While he pulled off his shirt, he ran his fingers over his neck. His stomach squirmed as he thought of Donna and her soft, but dead kisses. He could almost feel her lips, fiery hot on his throat and collar bone. He could feel her hands run along his body. It made him feel sick.

But right now he couldn't think about her and their dead end relationship, and his messed up mind. He needed to help Hyde with whatever was going on with him. But was there anything wrong? Was it even up to him to, for lack of better words, nurse him back to health? Eric wasn't even sure his friend was even sick.

'_Well... we're best friends, and I gotta know he's okay.'_ Eric told himself, deepening his grimace. He didn't make sure Kelso or Fez were okay when they were sick, though. However, they were never ill when they were at his house. Plus when they were sick they had families that would care for them, unlike Hyde. His home was probably the reason he ever fell in the first place, and that was rare.

Eric's family took care of Hyde as if he were a second son. So it was sort of a given that Eric would worry about him and make sure he was okay.

_'Right,'_ he told himself, groaning in dismay when he doubted his own thoughts. To put the issue to rest, he told himself to just do it and not think. He couldn't think. Because thinking made everything worse for him.

Once he pulled his feet in the dark gray pajama pants he had brought in, his hand turned the faucet on. He grabbed his yellow Star Wars toothbrush and squeezed a small dot of red and white striped toothpaste on the end. Eric ignored the mirror as he brushed his teeth. It's not that he was concerned about the surface of himself, he was a little scrawny but people thought it was cute. Yet if he looked himself in the eye, he would see all that he was hiding, and it would sweep over him like a catastrophic flood, and pulling him in an undertow.

Shaking his head, he spit out the foamy paste and cupped his hands to fill them with water. Swishing the lukewarm water in his mouth, he swallowed half and spit out the remaining, he was convinced it would help his breath smell even better.

Eric wiped his hands on the dark blue towel that hung on the towel hook, it was still damp from his shower in the morning. With his eyes cast on the linoleum floor, Eric hurried out of the bathroom and turned out the light. As he glanced behind to flick the switch, his eyes caught the distant pools in the mirror.

Just as he started down the hallway, his mom was quietly exiting his room. She smiled happily when seeing her son and glanced at the door.

"Steven is all settled in your room, he still has a temperature and I want him to get as much sleep as possible, so no talking, okay?" She asked, voice sweet yet demanding. Eric nodded and felt a yawn creep at his jaws.

"Can I have a light on so I can read or something?" He asked, Kitty clucked her tongue and furrowed her eyebrows.

"You can read at your desk by the lava lamp," Eric's stomach dropped at her answer. That was the same place he, Kelso, and Hyde had looked in the Pinciotti's window to catch either Donna, Midge, or Valerie. Only twice had they caught sight of the right Pinciotti; mostly it was Bob and that had them all running and screaming. And they felt like perverts when the girl in the shower turned out to be Tina.

He bit his lip and nodded softly.

"You need to get up by 6:30 tomorrow, Steven won't be going to school, I'll have to call his mom in the morning to- oh who am I kidding?" The middle aged woman ended her sentence with a dark question. Eric chuckled softly and shrugged his shoulders. "I'll just call the school tomorrow and you can tell his home room teacher that-"

"I got it mom, you need to go to bed," Eric murmured, stretching his arms for a hug. Goodnight hugs were a must in his family, whether he wanted them or not. After his mom squeezed him tightly in a mother bear hug, she kissed his cheek.

"Good night Eric, sweet dreams, and please try not to wake Steven?"

"Okay... 'night mom." Eric mumbled, then wiped off his cheek of any lipstick residue. Eric yawned deeply before quietly turning the doorknob to his room. He peeked inside and saw that the lights were off except for the blue lava lamp on his desk. Tip-toeing into the dimly lit room, he shut the door behind him and exhaled deeply. He had successfully entered the room without making a sound.

"You're about two inches from stubbing your toe," Eric jumped at the low voice that came from the bed. He cleared his throat and cautiously put his foot out; almost instantly he felt the metal of the cot's leg.

"Thanks," Eric mumbled, timidly lowering himself on the makeshift bed he'd be sleeping on for the night. He wrinkled his nose as one of the springs dug into his back; he was so glad he didn't have to fight in the war and sleep on this every night.

The seventeen year old flipped on his back and stared up at the ceiling. The glow in the dark stars that he had tacked onto the walls when he was younger were still there, barely giving on a lime green shine. Eric ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath before folding his hands over his lap.

So Hyde was up. And he was up. And they weren't talking, and it was awkward once again. Eric didn't know if Hyde had fallen back asleep or if he had even been asleep to begin with. All he knew was he didn't want to deal with the suffocating silence.

"Are you awake?" Eric whispered quietly, sitting up on the cot. He heard the sound of sheets rustling as Hyde shifted on the bed.

"Uh-huh," the older boy replied, much louder than Eric expected. He turned to face the bed and jumped back when seeing Hyde's blue eyes and pale face at the foot of the bed, looking at him. A smirk pulled at his lips when seeing Eric's startled reaction. "These are my prime hours, man."

"Yeah, but you're sick." Eric mumbled, turning so he'd be facing Hyde. He crossed his legs under the blankets and rested his arms on his thighs. Hyde blinked slowly as his smile faded.

"No I'm not," he replied quietly, which lead to a few moments of unbearable silence. "Can I ask you something?" Hyde whispered. Eric nodded vigorously, after all, Hyde was never one to voluntarily talk.

"Sure!" Eric chirped, hopefully not sounding too eager.

"What if I told you I wasn't sick at all?" Hyde murmured, face suddenly somber. Eric shrugged his shoulders and chuckled.

"Then I'd ask what's wrong with you, since you passed out after I hit you in the head with a bouncy ball. I don't think you can get a concussion from that." Hyde chuckled at that and placed his hand on the back of his own head.

"What if I told you that I'm dying?" Eric's smile was immediately wiped from his face as he heard Hyde's next question. He didn't know what to think about that; was Hyde considering doing something completely stupid and unspeakable? For a moment he was speechless.

"Well, in all honesty if you think about it, we're all one step closer to dying every second," he decided to say, to maybe make it seem more like a general topic.

"That's morbid," Hyde grumbled with a smirk. Eric smiled and watched as the taller boy sat back up, his fingers pressing against his temple as he did so. With his free hand, he patted the second, larger half of the bed that was now free for Eric to sit at.

This was odd of Hyde. He wasn't one to talk about death, or be open, or offer someone to sit next to him. And Eric didn't understand why it was such a big deal that he did; after all when they were younger, he, Hyde, and Kelso all shared the very same bed the two of them were currently sitting on.

"So what are you getting at?" Eric asked, his voice slightly higher than he thought. Hyde raised an eyebrow as he turned on the small lamp on Eric's nightstand so they could see each other better. Eric noted the dark, large bags under Hyde's eyes and how tired he looked; maybe he should let him sleep. But the older boy didn't have any intentions of doing that soon, Eric could tell by the fact that he was actually talking.  
>"Nothing, it was just a hypothetical question," Hyde answered nonchalantly, eyes staring passed Eric. As if he were focusing on something that wasn't seen, or trying to avoid eye contact. The latter seemed much more believable.<br>"I guess to answer your question, I'd be sad. And ask if I can do anything to help, and just be there for you. But I don't want to think about that, because you're not dying." Eric finally piped up, causing Hyde to raise an eyebrow and smirk as he glanced back at the scrawny kid in front of him.

"That's where you're wrong... you said we're all dying every second." Hyde quoted Eric with a slightly higher voice. Eric rolled his eyes as Hyde started laughing at his imitation of his best friend, yet he also felt his lips curl in a smile.

"Well... you're not going to die for a long time!" Eric assured both himself and Hyde. He didn't want to think about Hyde's death. None of them would ever be the same if he died.

"You never know." His voice sounded much darker, as if he knew something that Eric didn't. He didn't want Hyde to go back to his "whatever" guarded shell, so he decided to lighten the conversation. Try to cheer Hyde up.

"True, you're a walking death-wish," Eric teased, Hyde stared at him, the light in his eyes gone as he responded.

"No, I just know how to live."

That reply seemed to hit home to Eric. Not because he didn't know how to live, he did. But the way Hyde said it seemed as if he were actually dying. As if he were saying goodbye.

"Man, you're not really dying, are you?" He had to ask. He didn't want to hear Hyde's answer, if it was yes at least. But if he wasn't dying, then why would he bring it up?

Hyde sighed softly and Eric watched as his eyes darted to the Spiderman blanket of Eric's. He looked back up at him with the saddest eyes the seventeen year old had ever seen.

"Eventually, yeah."

Eric didn't know what he meant by that. Eventually he would be dying... that was obvious. Everyone died. But did he mean that he was currently actually dying, and not with the 'every second' crap he had spewed before. Was he really going to die... soon?

"Yeah, of course." Eric said, unsure of what else to say to Hyde's answer. He glanced at Hyde once more to see an amused expression on his hardened face as he stared at Eric.

"Are you okay?" Hyde asked, taking Eric aback. He nodded slowly and tried to suppress his yawn.

"Yeah, why?" Eric answered, causing his best friend to smirk.

"You look nervous." He raised an eyebrow at Hyde's observation. He wasn't nervous, just worried that there was something really going on with Hyde. That didn't make him nervous, though.

"No, I'm not nervous. Why do you think that?" Now he was grinning, and Eric leaned his body back as he gazed at Hyde skeptically.

"Because," he chirped, "you're on a bed with me." At this moment, if Eric had a drink he would have spit it out in shock. A blush suddenly crept onto his cheeks, causing his entire face to feel as if it were on fire. Thankfully the lighting was dim.

"What... I'm not... come on, Hyde, really?" Eric asked, feeling his voice raise higher, in his squeaky range. What was Hyde's problem? First talking about death and now he was once again referencing homosexuality? His friend was messed up.

"Yes, Eric, really. You're-"

"You just called me Eric again!" He squeaked, causing Hyde to smirk.

"And how did that make you feel...?" Eric rolled his eyes and watched as Hyde laid down once more. Now he was just trying to mess with him, he knew that.

"Weird! Don't call me that!" Hyde laughed softly as he shut his eyes, resting his thumbs under his belt buckle; he wasn't wearing pajamas. Eric nearly face palmed when he realized he hadn't offered Hyde any, yet he wasn't about to suggest it now.

"Why? I think it's funny." Eric scowled and narrowed his eyes at the smiling boy laying down in front of him.

_'Two can play this game,'_ Eric thought and raised his grimace.

"I suppose it is, but let's see how you like it, _Steven_." Eric growled, the name felt weird rolling off of his tongue. He wondered if it was like that for Hyde, too.

Eric turned, waiting for a witty comeback from Hyde. But as seconds passed, not a word came from the boy who was laying next to him.

"What do you have to say to that, Hyde?" Eric added, smugly, resting on his side to watch as Hyde quietly replied. Or slugged him. "Hyde?" he asked softer, once again not receiving any sign that the older teen had heard a word he said.

In fact his eyes were shut and a sense of peace was written on his face. Eric sighed softly and shifted his eyes from his best friend's face, to his hands that rested right above his navel. Eric bit his lip and quickly turned away when he caught sight of the slightly raised shirt which exposed a small portion of Hyde's strong stomach. Yet the image seemed to burn in Eric's deranged mind.

A queasy feeling ran through him as he felt his fingers twitch. Was it wrong to wonder what his best friend's body looked like under his clothes? Or felt like?

_'For comparison,'_ Eric quickly added to his thought, changing his lie count from 112 to 113.

Eric groaned in annoyance and disgust as he slammed his palm against his face. He didn't understand why he was thinking this way about his best friend. He couldn't... have... like...

"No way," Eric whispered out loud.

No this was just his mind talking, it had to be. He was crazy... he was confused. This was probably going to end up being some phase and he'd wake up in a week and laugh it off and say "Gee! I'm glad that's over!" At least, that's what he hoped. He couldn't deal with this... oddity that was living inside him. He needed to get it out before it became him.

For now he just had to get away from Hyde. As he slowly started to slide off of the bed, he told himself to think. Think of Donna, of the _Charlie's Angels_, of _Playpen_ or _Playboy_ magazines with nude women posing for him to see. To think of-

Eric felt his stomach lurch as an arm wrapped around his torso. His breath hitched in his throat as he turned to look behind him and he bit his lip. There was Steven Hyde to pull him right back into the hellish thoughts that weren't right. And it was wrong on so many levels.

Slowly, his trembling fingers lightly wrapped around Hyde's wrist and began to gently pull his hand off of his side. Eric cursed his speeding heart beat as he felt the dead to the world boy's fingers clench onto his skin, his jagged, too short nails lightly grazing on his flesh. It tickled.

"Hyde, come on..." Eric whispered in aggravation, slowly leaning back down to rest his back on his pillow. He needed to move but didn't want to interfere Hyde's sleep, he knew he was a light sleeper. And barely got any shut eye as it is. But what Eric didn't understand was why was he latched on to him like a teddy bear or a... a girl?

"Don't... please?" Eric's ears perked as he heard the quiet, sleep filled voice from his sleeping friend. Or was he awake? He sighed softly and slowly lowered himself back onto his small bed, staying as far away from Hyde as he could without forcing the teen's arm off of him. He didn't want to end up getting punched.

But Eric wouldn't admit that he liked feeling his soft yet calloused hand on him. He wouldn't admit that he liked the difference in tone that Hyde's voice had as he asked him, conscious or not, to stay with him. But what did that mean?

Eric settled on his left side, legs curled close so he wouldn't touch Hyde. Slowly, he breathed through his nose to help calm him and hopefully help him fall asleep. He didn't know when he had closed his eyes, or when he had scooted closer to the other boy in his bed. All knew was that this was the first time his mind wasn't plagued with confusing thoughts while he tried to sleep.

"Goodnight..." Eric mumbled, voice slurred by the effects of being lulled closer to sleep by the rhythmic, deep breathing behind him. "Steven," he finished, testing out the name on his tongue once more, for only him to hear. Except he felt a twitch from Hyde's fingers that still lay across his stomach.

Eric smiled as he drifted off into the comfort of sleep. The name didn't so bad coming from his vocal chords after all.


	2. Hush

_**Author's Note: Hello all! Finally I get to writing this chapter. Now, usually I don't do the short scenes, but as these chapters are shorter, then these will have shorter breaks. It's not that I'm not putting a lot of detail, it's just that I'm writing the first few. They'll get longer as the story progresses. Hope you're all enjoying!**_

_**Just want to say thank you all for your kind reviews. I'm really glad you liked the first chapter. Special thanks to my BETA, Carol (AKA twiniitowers) you're the reason why I even wrote this story, so thank you. *hug*  
><strong>_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

* * *

><p>Lazily, Eric's eyes fluttered open the next morning. Thankfully, the curtains were drawn, otherwise he'd be blinded. And that wouldn't help the painful headache throbbing fiercely against his skull.<p>

As he became more aware of his surroundings, an odd sense ran through him. Like he was being watched, well, more like stalked. It made Eric's stomach squirm and his mind to race crazily.

"What the hell?" Eric jumped when hearing the gruff voice practically shout in his ear. He hadn't been aware of being so close to Hyde. When he fell asleep, he had been teetering on the edge of the bed, and now he was smack dab in the center. And that meant-

Eric felt a shove or kick, yet he found himself flying across the room. Until he landed with a thud on the carpeted floor of his bedroom.

"What was that for?" Eric cried angrily as he glared toward a wide eyed Hyde.

"You were cuddling me." Eric shook his head furiously as he slowly situated into a sitting position. So much for Hyde having the flu.

"No, I wasn't! Besides, I wasn't the one who made sure I stayed in the bed last night!" Eric counter attacked, knowing Hyde didn't have his glasses on and wouldn't be able to come back with a good rebuttal.

"Well, I didn't wake up with a pitched tent, now did I?" Okay, Eric had been wrong. He couldn't ignore Hyde's smug smirk as he realized he had won this "argument," or the deep flush that crept onto his cheeks.

"That... not... every..." Eric gave one last feeble attempt at a fight, yet couldn't form the right words to make a complete and comprehensible sentence. "I'm a man!" Hyde scoffed and shook his head as he curled up his legs. Eric hung his head as he heard the older boy's quiet chuckles.

The blush that had formed on his face had started to drain as he remained seated on the floor. He watched as Hyde just sat on the bed, not moving at all. He wasn't sure if he should say something, or get up and leave. He didn't want to get up and show his morning glory, yet the silence in the room was almost unbearable.

"Ooh... if Donna knew her scrawny little neighbor boy got off thinking about the bad boy, there would be-"

"I am not scrawny!" Eric cried, Hyde only laughed as Eric defended the minor insult of Hyde's sentence. His amused smirk and slightly lifted eyebrows made Eric more than slightly uncomfortable. "_And you don't get me off_!" He added angrily, after realizing he hadn't backed up the homosexual reference in Hyde's joking remark; only Eric didn't find it all that funny.

"Whatever man, I am not going to sit in a room with a questionable sexuality-induced boner. I smell bacon, and I am starving." Hyde bounced off the bed and headed toward the door.

"Hey Hyde, wait!" Eric called. After watching him this morning, he was curious. The curly-haired teen turned slowly to face him, as if he was stalling him from a life threatening situation. "What was up with you last night? You could barely walk and now-"

"I was tired, and I got sleep." Eric was stunned by his icy, blunt tone. Hyde was usually nonchalant or apathetic with his responses, but this time he almost seemed angry. Eric was almost scared that he asked the question. The harshness from him was something so peculiar to Eric. Guarded and apathetic, yes. Bitter? Never. By the time Eric opened his eyes, however, Hyde was out of sight.

Eric sighed and shook his head. He was sick of Hyde's bipolar attitude towards everything and everyone. From life, to whatever is or isn't going on with him, to... last night. First he had been sarcastic, then vulnerable and sort of frightened. And now he got to deal with the snarky '"zen;" whatever that was. He'd rather have Hyde be brutally honest than secretive and, quite frankly, two-faced. Especially with him, of all people.

The seventeen year old sighed as he slowly stood up. While he was worried and annoyed to no end about his best friend, he had a bigger, persistent issue to deal with at the moment.

* * *

><p>The hot water spraying from the shower felt like warm rain on Eric's back. He had long forgotten about the shampoo that was still lathered in his hair.<p>

Eric's forehead rested against the wall of the shower as he bit down on his lip. He had two ways to deal with his problem; freezing cold shower or to get himself off, and he chose the latter option.

As Eric worked his pleasuring magic, all thoughts were turned to Donna. He thought of her fingers running down his body, his stomach, passed his waist to the pride and joy he called his manhood. Her soft lips taking him in her hot mouth, slowly at first as she lightly scratched the skin. He inwardly groaned as he imagined her working faster at pleasing him, sucking and licking and looking up at him with those piercing blue eyes.

_'Wait a second, Donna's eyes are brown,'_ he thought, his stomach squirming (for multiple reasons.) Yet right now he didn't care about what color the eyes were as long as it got done.

Eric closed his own eyes once more and continued with his day dream. Yet as he continued to fuel his lust-filed fantasy, his imagination took a turn for the probable worse. It was as if he had just consumed some mushroom or other hallucinogen; his mind was slowly creeping into the hidden secrets, causing the image of the red-haired beauty to slowly eradicate within the air.

Those all too familiar blue eyes locked with his as the moist mouth took him in expertly once more. Except he wasn't in a shower, he was in a dark room, attempting to stay as silent as possible. And the straight red locks turned into curly, dark blonde hair. And the nails scratching down his legs and sides were much shorter and jagged, and dug into his skin harder.

"Shh..." he could almost hear the whisper, feel the vibration on his most sensitive part of his body. And he bit down on his lip to stifle a loud moan in hopes that no one would hear.

As the white-hot climax began to overtake him, an all too familiar voice called out his name, over and over. And the intensity was too much for him to handle; Eric's legs buckled as his nerves screamed what he couldn't.

Eric gasped in shock from the most erotic fantasy he ever had. His lungs gasped for air with every pant, and every ounce of him seemed to burst, from his nerves to his blood, and his body. It was hot, it was incredible, it was-

"Forman, c'mon you've been in there for thirty-five minutes and I really have to pee!"

His eyes widened as the same voice from his imagination angrily barked at him.

"H-hold on... I'll be out in a minute!" Eric called, his voice caught in his throat as he attempted to speak.

After quickly rinsing his body and hair from the long-forgotten shampoo, Eric turned off the warm shower and quickly hopped out of the tub.

As he dried his body with his mint-green fluffy towel, Eric still felt his body sparking from the disgustingly mind-blowing orgasm he just had. With a hitched breath, Eric shook his head and forced himself to block out the haunting thoughts.

Eric's fingers trembled as he quickly pulled his boxers and jeans onto his pallid yet normal-Wisconsin-guy legs. He rolled his eyes as Hyde continued to knock on the bathroom door.

_'So much for that,' _Eric thought, wriggling into his gray long sleeved shirt. After quickly combing his hair with his fingers, Eric took a deep breath. _'Gotta face the world sometime...'_ he told himself, turning away from the looming reflection that glared at him from the mirror.

Opening the door, he met Hyde's blank stare and quickly looked away. He quickly brushed passed the stocky teen and started toward the stairs without a word, yet the sense of being watched stopped him. Turning, he found the same icy blue eyes that he had just been fantasizing about, and he felt his stomach twist.

Hyde opened his mouth as if he were going to say something, yet stopped himself. Eric's eyes hurried to look at the carpeted floor, anywhere but at his best friend. God, he couldn't do this. This wasn't right.

Though the older teen appeared to be in the midst of an inner battle, Eric watched as his jaw clenched and unclenched. Finally, he scoffed and turned on the bathroom light.

"Thanks, man," he mumbled, then shut the door, leaving Eric to stair at the painted door in confusion.

'What the hell was that?' Eric asked, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to comprehend what just happened. Never before had his friend been so confusing as he was right now; not even when he took up the hobby of being mute for a month, not that anyone noticed. Eric didn't understand what he just saw; that was the vulnerable side he saw last night. He was sick of these two versions of his best friend, he just didn't get it. And a part of him didn't want to.

Without another thought, Eric took off down the stairs. Now that he had calmed one of his growing boy needs, the other was taking over. The grumbling in his stomach was probably as loud as his footsteps as he clambered down the stairs quickly. Though he had eaten a mere ten hours ago, he was famished.

Eric stepped into the kitchen and found his mom sipping a cup of coffee at the table. As his bare feet padded against the linoleum, she looked up and smiled happily.

"Good morning, sweetie! Did you sleep well?" Eric held back a sarcastic laugh. Honestly, he slept great until he woke up and was literally kicked in the ass _and_ kicked out of _his_ bed at the same time. He didn't want to think or even know about what happened before he woke up; he had enough problems centered around Hyde fully conscious.

"Yeah," he mumbled, sitting at his normal seat around the kitchen table. Immediately and in routine, Kitty set down his breakfast plate full of cheesy scrambled eggs, toast, and of course, bacon. He smiled and thanked his mom quietly before digging in to his steaming food.

"I'm glad, did you make sure Steven got enough sleep?" Eric nodded slowly, then bit down extra hard on the crispy bacon strip he had just put in his mouth. Could he have one moment in the day where nothing was focused around Steven Hyde? "Good, now I got a call this morning about your inhaler-"

"Mom, I don't need it any-"

"You don't know that! You never know when you could have an asthma attack. Remember when the little neighbor boy down the street had to be taken to the ER because he had an asthma attack and no inhaler!" Kitty lectured, causing her son to stare at her skeptically.

"I thought he fell out of a tree." Eric countered, causing his mother to sigh in frustration. After sending him a motherly glare, she sat down next to her son, with her cup of coffee.

"That's besides the point, I don't want my baby to end up going to the hospital because he didn't listen to his mother. You're going in to the respiratory therapist to renew your test, then you'll be getting your inhaler." Eric groaned and rolled his eyes in aggravation. He hadn't had an attack since he was twelve and even then it wasn't bad. He didn't understand the point of the yearly check-up.

"Fine," he grumbled, "but I want ice cream when we're done." Eric knew that sounded so baby-like yet it was tradition. Whenever he went to the doctor his mom would get him ice cream because he was good; they'd been doing it since he was three.

"Okay! We'll have to wait for Steven's appointment, but he can go with..." she trailed off suddenly. Eric watched as his mother's face paled slightly and her eyes had the shine of surprise. Her habitual nervous laugh filled the room, and Eric knew she had slipped.

"Hyde has an appointment too? Why?" He asked, Kitty laughed and shook her head causing Eric's curiosity to rise even more. "Is that why he stayed the night?" Kitty laughed even more, knowing what her answer was even though her words were about disagree with her stressed giggle.

"No honey, now... you just eat your breakfast. We have to be there by nine forty-five."

Eric grimaced when hearing his mother's diverging sentence; he knew all he needed to know right now. There was a reason Hyde had stayed at their house. There was something wrong with him. But what was so wrong about him knowing? Why couldn't his mom just tell him? She didn't have to lie to him, she was easier to read than "See Spot Run."

Yet he did as he was told and dropped the subject. But suddenly, Eric didn't seem to have as much of an appetite as he thought. In fact, the thought of taking another bite of the scrambled eggs or the cinnamon toast made him feel almost nauseous. He slowly pushed the chunk of egg half eaten from his fork around the plate. As it danced, the silverware caused a soft, constant screech on the glass plate.

It was then that he realized what the cause of his lack of appetite was. And knowing the cause made him feel so much worse. Now that there was definitely something wrong with his best friend, it caused his stomach to twist and contort with worry. He shouldn't care this much, why did he care so much?

"Mom?" Eric asked in a whisper. His mother looked at him, just like her, Eric was easy to read.

"Yes, Eric?" She replied with question. As Eric caught his mom's gaze, he could see her eyes focus as she formed an answer to his unheard question in her mind.

"Why is he going with?" He heard Kitty sigh deeply, and her usual smile fade as she was faced with such a question. An inquiry in which she couldn't answer; it wasn't her question to disclose.

"Same reason as you," was all Eric's mother said. The seventeen year old sighed in frustration and ran his hand through his hair. But there was more to that answer, his mom was wrong and she knew it. Because Hyde didn't have asthma.

* * *

><p>Eric sat on the clinic room's medical bed, his feet dangling off the edge as he anxiously awaited the conclusion of his appointment. It was a waste of time; all he gained was another prescription in the medicine cabinet. And another worry for his mom, yet she felt it was necessary for his health.<p>

Eric watched Dr. Rogers, the respiratory therapist, scribble on his Rx notepad. He'd take the damn paper and give it to his mom like the good boy he was. Even though he'd fight his instincts that screamed "save the money!"

"Okay, Eric, you'll take three puffs from this prescription as needed. your symptoms have decreased since your last visit..." Eric held back the scoff and refrained from rolling his eyes. He could have told him that and saved an hour of each of their lives. "-glad to see you're doing so well. I'll see you next year then."

The first time throughout the appointment, Eric smiled. He slid off the bed in the clinic room and gave a curt nod.

"Okay, thanks," it was good to know all of his _circle time_ hadn't messed up his breathing. In fact, he could say it helped him breathe deeper; yet the doctor wouldn't go for that.

Eric took the written prescription and folded it in his pocket. He walked out of the room without saying another word to Dr. Rogers._ 'Good riddance,'_ he thought.

He hated hospitals; the thought of standing in a place with so many people on the verge of death nerved him. He hated thinking about dying, yet every time he stepped foot in any medical facility he was beyond paranoid of catching a terminal disease. Or any disease for that matter.

With his eyes low, he walked down the white-on-white hallway. The bright lights and strong scent of sterilized rooms, chemicals and medicine reminded him that much more of his location. He hated the smell in hospitals, and every step closer to the exit grew faster. Only he couldn't leave without his mom.

He knew his mom had the day off today; that was most likely the main reason he was in today. With that in mind, he continued straight down the hall that would lead to the door of the waiting room. He kept his eyes averted forward; looking at the closed doors on either side of him would remind him that there is a patient in there.

Eric felt a heavy sigh of relief exhale from his lungs as he reached the door to the waiting room. He could hear the nurses talking and going over charts and other nurse-stuff; stuff he didn't want to listen to. He heard enough from his mom. He turned the handle to the door, and excitedly pushed it open.

His eyes fell on two children playing with the only toy the hospital provided for the children with family members who had scheduled appointments. There were six adults, varying age and gender, reading the health and home magazines that the Point Place medical center provided. Yet as he looked at the six adults; none of them were short, with springy blonde hair. His mom wasn't here.

Eric felt a groan of frustration growl at his throat and he slowly turned around. Back to the nurses station, where the nurses would gossip about patients and doctors. The seventeen-year-old dragged himself unwillingly to the front counter and leaned on the painted top.

He had made eye contact with a nurse in her mid-thirties, bringing him to their attention. Eric saw the look of annoyance on the younger nurse's face as she quickly shuffled to the front desk in her white cotton uniform.

"Hi, do you have an appointment scheduled for-?"

"I'm looking for Kitty Forman, I'm her son and she was supposed to be in here, but she's not and..." Eric trailed off, suddenly realizing how immature he sounded. By the amused look on the olive-skinned nurse, Eric knew she heard it, too.

"I'll ask Betty... hold on," she drawled, turning around and walking back to the small pack of nurses. Eric felt his scowl deepen even more, and turned his head to watch the children playing sliding toy. He had known that was the only toy donation to the center itself rather than the terminally ill children because it had been his.

As Eric watched the two young boys play and laugh quietly with each other, his lips raised slightly. He remembered when he was four; Donna and Hyde would always come over to his house after pre-school, and the three of them would play with that very same toy. Granted it wasn't something the older two were interested; they'd prefer playing Cowboys and Indians, tag, or just to wrestle. But sometimes they would just sit on the floor in his room and play with that toy for hours; somehow it was extremely entertaining.

Even though it was a really dumb toy, he knew that, it had still been important to their friendship. They had been the three peas in a pod, The Three Musketeers. That toy and Donna's big wheel were the key components to how they became close. And even if it wasn't in his possession anymore and thirteen years had passed, he could still see himself sitting there, nearly three feet shorter with his closest friends, sharing their secrets and laughing at the stupidest things. He was glad to see that the toy was still being used for that same purpose.

"Eric?" A more familiar voice called. The boy, lost in his thoughts, shook his head and quickly turned around, smiling softly. He met the face of one of his mother's friends who had even been at the house a couple of times, Nurse Johns; A.K.A Betty. "Your mom's not working today, so I don't know-"

"I know, yeah... she brought me in to an appointment today and, well I didn't want to leave without her." Eric had changed his words to make him sound more like a slightly independent seventeen-year-old man rather than a ten-year-old mama's boy. Betty clucked her tongue and quickly skimmed through her paperwork.

"If she came with you, then she'd be in here, hon..." Betty told him. Eric held back his retort; he was sick of the obvious being thrown at him like he couldn't get it himself. "Unless she had something else to do, because-"

"Wait!" Eric exclaimed, "Uh... my friend came in with us today; she might be with him." Betty smiled sweetly at him and nodded, starting to look at the sign in sheet on the front counter top. This was special treatment he got for having a nurse as a mom; he got a tiny bit of access to medical records; or at least where she was. "His name is Steven Hyde," Betty glanced up at him momentarily, making sure that was all he had to say. Then her eyes quickly scanned over the various signatures and time slots.

"They're in Room 302, they just went back about twenty minutes ago so I'd wait at least a half hour before going in." Eric furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"But 302 is..." Eric was piecing this sudden information in his mind. He couldn't finish his sentence in front of her. "Thanks..." he trailed off, quickly running through the waiting room, past the doors that led to the exit.

He didn't get it. What was Hyde in for... and why was he all the way in the three-hundred rooms? Those rooms were high care. For people with cancer, or tuberculosis, or some other illness that could be fatal. Hyde was fine. Wasn't he?

The fact that Eric had to question his usual assurance made him feel sick. The run from the doctor's office to the hospital was short; they were practically attached. Yet Eric still pushed himself to run faster than he did in his physical education class.

He had to figure out what was going on. Hyde probably just ended up having STAPH or mono or some other disease they didn't want near the normal patients. He couldn't have cancer, he was too young to even have lung cancer; he didn't smoke that much. And he never even saw other signs of chemo; he definitely had a full head of hair.

Eric pushed open the doors to the much busier hospital end. An ambulance had pulled in, sirens wailing loudly as he shut the door; God he couldn't think about it right now. He held his breath as the overpowering stench of chemicals and sterilized _everything_ filled his lungs.

He skidded to a halt on the marble floor when nearing the elevator; yet thought better. The hospital was known for having the slowest elevators in the entire area of Wisconsin. By the time he got up to the third floor Hyde would be as fit as a fiddle and trying to steal some Demerol. Unless he already did that.

Eric zipped to the other end of the hallway, where a staircase zig-zagged up to the fifth floor of the rather large hospital. He bolted up the stairs, taking two at a time in hopes to catch his friend. It was time to find out what was going on. Even his mother knew what Hyde had, or didn't have.

_'Who said he had anything?'_ Eric thought, reassuring himself as his breathing grew heavier. Now he was running furiously up every stair. They were just trying to mess with him. The hospital probably didn't have any other clinic rooms open and the only place they could put Hyde was in one of the high-care rooms. In fact, Eric himself was the only person to say his best friend "had something." He was only thinking of the worst.

Eric ignored the slight pressure he felt on his chest as he reached the top floor. _'So much for the pot helping...'_ Eric thought with a smirk, continuing his ceaseless running down the quiet halls of the third floor. There was practically no one up there; so why was Hyde?

Eric slowed, hoping to silence his loud footsteps that pounded heavily against the marble floors with every step he took. His eyes scanned the numbers outside of the rooms. 314, 312, 310, 308... An uncomfortable twisting in his stomach caused him to feel nauseous as he neared room 302. Eric didn't know what to expect when he looked in the window, or walked in... he didn't want to see what was going on. This was Hyde, the strongest one of his friends. He couldn't see him in a time of weakness. He could just wait in the waiting room, he didn't want to...

Eric's breath hitched to a halt as he heard the faint sound of heart monitor beating normally. The sound seemed to terrify him although it should do the opposite. He could hear muffled voices as he slowed to a stop outside of the door. It was unfamiliar to the Eric, so it must have been a doctor or nurse.

Timidly, Eric poked his head in front of the window, in hopes to see who was in the room, and what was going on. His eyes immediately caught sight of his mother sitting on a chair... holding a hand connected to an IV. So that's where she was. With a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, his eyes traveled up the IV, to the pale forearm, passed the sleeve of one of those hospital gowns, to the mess of curly hair that proved to him what he didn't want to grasp.

_'That's really Hyde...'_ Eric thought, feeling a cold shiver creep down his spine. He stared hard at the teenager who had been his friend since preschool, his "hired gun," the guy who helped him with everything; and saw the helplessness written on his vulnerable face. That wasn't Hyde in there; Hyde had that stupid zen. He knew that was just a strong facade, yet he hadn't been prepared to see, well... _this_.

Eric felt his heart drop as Hyde quickly turned away from the doctor who was sitting close to the bed, reading the charts on his clipboard aloud. His gaze followed his friend's, and watched as his hand raised, rubbing his face.

"I can't," those were the first words the eavesdropper could actually hear. Hyde sounded so angry, so... tired. "I don't want to do this anymore."

So this had been going on for awhile. How long? As Eric asked himself this question, he had a strong feeling that he didn't want to know the answer to his question.

"Steven, you have to!" Eric's mother cried tearfully, "you can, I believe in you. I'm here for you. I know it hurts and I know you hate what the medicines do... but they could-"

"They _could_ help, Mrs. Forman! Exactly! Where's the guarantee? I don't want to keep wasting myself away with these meds. There's no point in fighting anymore. I'm tired."

Eric's throat felt unbelievably tight as he heard the conversation between his best friend and his mom. So... Hyde had cancer? Eric's legs felt like rubber as he ran this idea through his head. That had to be it. Cancer was "the wasting disease." Chemotherapy made people sick, made them weak, and there was no guarantee he would live.

_'But he has to!'_ Eric protested his thoughts, leaning against the wall as he began to process this news. His best friend was dying from cancer. Why hadn't he told him? A whole new feeling of anger and resentment filled Eric's heart, replacing the fear and worry. Hyde didn't trust him enough. He wouldn't tell his own best friend that he had a terminal illness? Were they even friends? Why couldn't he trust him? To even question their friendship hurt Eric more than what he was watching.

"Steven, these are common emotions through this process. But Nurse Forman tells me you're a fighter, and I can tell. You've been here for years now, and still standing. This is the best treatment so far." The doctor tried to sway his patient to the logical side once more. Yet as Eric looked at Hyde, he saw the stubborn scowl that he knew too well. He wouldn't budge; and it seemed the doctor knew this.

The man sighed heavily and set down his clip board, and stared Hyde straight in the eye. "I know what it's like, I do. I lost someone to this very same disease; I did all I could to save them. I've seen the hopelessness and feeling of wanting to give up. But you have to stay strong, there's still hope." He heard Hyde scoff at the doctor's words, yet his dull blue eyes showed that he took the words to heart. Eric sighed, his own frown lessening; _Hyde couldn't hide._

"Besides, even if you wished to discontinue this treatment, I wouldn't be allowed to. You're still a minor, under your mother's care and-"

"Edna? What the hell does she have to do with this? She doesn't care about me!" Eric's eyes widened, watching Hyde's fury explode in the tiny hospital room. " She got me into this mess! She shouldn't have an-"

"Steven, she's your mother. and she requested you continue treatment until-"

_"I die?"_

So there was the elephant in the room. The shouting from Hyde and the calm replies from his doctor silenced. Once more the only sound that loomed throughout the hallway was Hyde's heart rate. Eric studied the doctor's face, as well as his mom's. He waited for one of them to quickly reassure Hyde that he was going to be fine; reassure _him_ that Hyde was going to be okay. Yet the two adults were quiet as they gazed sadly at the time bomb in the form of a teen.

"Steven, sweetie... that's not..." Kitty attempted, yet trailed off; unsure of what to say. Eric had been clinging to her words, waiting for the very same reassurance Hyde was looking for. Yet he felt his own dejection when watching the tired boy on the bed slowly hand his head.

Eric bit back his lip, feeling a sting in his eyes as his mom sat on the bed, next to the curled teen, and wrapped her arm around him. His body trembled, realizing for the first time how human his best friend was, as he watched the softened boy rest his head on the woman's shoulder; searching for comfort. Hyde's eyes were closed and he seemed almost still.

"Fine..." Hyde's quiet and shaky voice filled his ears. The doctor and Kitty seemed to sigh with relief when hearing his surrender. "I'll continue the damn treatment..." Kitty laughed happily as she squeezed Hyde's shoulder. The doctor even seemed to be happy to hear this news.

"I'm glad to hear it," the older man began. "Now, with your next appointment, we'll first issue the scans to get them over with. Once that's completed, we will continue the Interferon and steroids, and see..."

Eric's eyes widened in shock and his body seemed to freeze in horror. Yet no matter how terrified he was he couldn't unlock the gaze he had as the teen in the room slowly looked up from the hard stare focusing on his hands. And looked straight at him with dead eyes.

A look of defeat crossed Hyde's face while the color drained from Eric's. His whole body seemed to be glued as Hyde's cold gaze locked him.

"Dr. Gallagher?" Hyde interrupted his doctor with a flat tone. "I'd really like it if you told him to stay out of my business." He growled, still glaring at Eric with more than a look of anger in his blue pools and face. Both doctor and nurse turned to the door and found Eric just standing outside of the window.

Finally, the blood seemed to rush to Eric's legs. Without a second to think or for Dr. Gallagher and Kitty Forman to realize what just happened, Eric bolted down the hall. Finally the tears could fall.


	3. Trust

**_Hey all: Just thought I'd let you know that this is where we step into some AU and OOC moments from both Eric and Hyde. I hope you enjoy. And a song that goes perfect with this story is "Hush, Hush, Hush" by Paula Cole; so beautiful. I listen to it nonstop while writing this story. _**

* * *

><p>One week.<p>

Eric had one week to figure out where he stood. Each night, the worry for Steven Hyde that lay in the back of his mind would result in his happiest dreams. It had been one week since he found out his best friend had cancer. But most of all, it had been one week since he had even _seen_ Hyde.

Long absences were normal for Hyde, Eric knew that. Yet they were only a couple of days at the most. Not to mention that when he and his mother left the hospital seven days ago, Hyde hadn't been with them. He hadn't seen him since he decided to run like hell.

His absence hadn't gone unnoticed, either. Everyday after school his mom would ask him if Hyde was coming over. And he couldn't ignore the empty lawn chair that had been Hyde's permanent spot since he could remember.

Even their friends had asked. Of course, Kelso and Fez at first were upset because they all lacked the supply of herb. Yet after three days, they started asking where Eric where he was. As if _he_ was supposed to know Hyde's every move. He was the one who should have all the answers, but he wasn't. Except there was someone who did.

Which is where he was now; sitting in his basement exactly one week later with none other than Donna. Hyde's _other_ best friend.

He had been avoiding the girl as much as possible; which probably worried Donna. He felt bad about that, yet he had to put distance between them. He didn't want to lead her on any longer than he already did. He did love her, just not in the way she wanted.

"Eric, I really don't know where he is..." she told him for the fourth time that night. Yet he didn't fully believe her. The two had a special connection, a connection that Eric was envious of. "I haven't seen him since Friday." Eric sighed heavily and nodded. So he _had_ been the last person to see him after all.

"Well do you know what's going on?" He asked. Donna bit her bottom lip and shrugged. He took that as a yes.

So Hyde had the nerve to tell Donna about his cancer, but didn't mention it to him? Why didn't Hyde trust him? They were supposed to be best friends. Eric told him everything but got nothing in return. And the hot red head had all that he wanted; of course.

"Not exactly..." she trailed off, keeping her eyes focused everywhere else except in his direction. Eric held back his scoff as he looked toward her.

"Can you tell me how long he's had it?" Donna sighed as she hung her head. She didn't want to break Hyde's trust but she was about to burst with all of the information she withheld. Eric could tell by her diverted eyes and uneasy expression on her face.

"Since he was fifteen..." she finally mumbled weakly. "And his mom didn't even do anything until your mom saw-"

"Wait- my mom? She knew two years ago?" Eric cried angrily, fists clenched so tight that his nails dug into the palm of his hand. "How come no one thought to tell me?" Donna's eyes were pained as she gazed at the shouting boy.

"I... I don't know." The defeat that tightened her voice told him she had rehearsed her answer. Why would it be hard to lie to him now if she had been for two years? "She only found out when I told her he had been sick for awhile. That was a year ago." Donna attempted to reassure him, yet her words made everything worse. A whole year they had kept this secret. A whole year of lying and forced fun. _Why hadn't they just told him?_

"Eric, you need to talk to him, ask him these questions yourself. I can't tell you, it's not for me to talk about." Eric nodded slowly, feeling his blood boil with a sudden burst of fury.

"So what?" He snapped, "are you and Hyde a _thing_ now?" Where he the hell did that come from? He knew this was his hurt and jealousy causing him to act and talk like this. He just needed to shut up. He knew Hyde and Donna were close; closer than they were to him, sometimes. But still, he wanted answers, and he wanted Hyde's trust. He had never done anything to _lose_ any trust between them in the first place.

Donna laughed out loud at his accusation, much to Eric's surprise. She shook her head and gazed at him with amused eyes.

"No, Eric, no way," she reassured him in between chuckles. "We joked around and talked about it but I'm not his type, and he's not mine." Eric smiled at that; but which answer relieved him? "Eric, don't worry about Hyde and I; we're like siblings. You're the guy I want." Eric laughed nervously and tensed when feeling her arm wrap around him. He'd be the girl in this relationship; why not be the girl in all?

"I'm sorry, Donna..." he murmured, apologizing for all he had put her through, today and forever. "I'm such a jerk." He couldn't hurt her any more right now; he had already done enough damage for one night. "Of course you're not his type, he likes the easy ones." Donna chuckled with a grin on her face before mumbling to herself. Eric raised an eyebrow in confusion before continuing. "he'll come around, right?"

Donna nodded and smiled sweetly at him as she reassuringly squeezed his hand. He felt his fingers twitch as he attempted to squeeze back.

"He always does," she mumbled vacantly, with a distant look written in her eyes. A look he knew all too well.

* * *

><p>Eric sighed heavily as he closed the door to his bedroom door two hours later. His finger flicked the light switch on before he pulled off his polo t-shirt.<p>

He felt dirty. He realized what he was and he couldn't keep stringing Donna along. She deserved so much better than being his cover story. Eric would have to tell her they couldn't be anything else but friends tomorrow, he just had to. He couldn't continue to let her suffer. It wasn't right.

Her kisses were sweet yet they just felt like lips. There was no emotion or passion, not that she wasn't a bad kisser, yet they didn't have the spark. He wanted the spark. Eric just hoped to God that he wouldn't extinguish her embers.

Eric shook his head and shifted his eyes away from the window. He hated being alone. Solitude caused him to think, and right now thinking was the last thing he wanted to do. His mind was like a car in overdrive, with the pedal to the metal on the interstate, pushing the limits of the engine, motor, and himself. He was just waiting to crash and burn.

He curled his hand into a fist and curled his arm back. His emotions were currently uncontrollable, racing through his mind, twisting his common sense into hallucination, it seemed. Everything felt like it was a dream, yet he couldn't pinch himself to wake up. This was as real as it would get.

He hissed as his fist smashed into the painted wall in his room, his knuckles ached as the skin barely tore, leaving tiny blood drops to squeeze out from the scrapes. This was too much for him to take.

His mom and Donna had known that Hyde had cancer at least a year ago. He had been dealing with this for two years and wore a fake smirk every damn day to let people know he wasn't suffering. Eric knew it was just a facade but it was a lot stronger than he ever imagined. He was practically a stone. He just didn't know how the women could keep it a secret for that long.

Yet if Hyde had cancer and was going through treatment, why was he not bald? Why wasn't he exhausted every night, or throwing up? Granted, he probably hadn't seen him after his chemotherapy. It did explain the baggy clothes he once owned that had fit just right at the time of purchase, though.

Eric pulled on a pair of pajama pants, staying shirtless in lack of motivation to search through his drawers. He tossed his clothes in a pile in the back left corner of his room and flopped onto his bed with a soft "fwoomp" from the mattress. He slowly pulled himself up to his pillow and folded his arms across his chest, eyes staring above.

The monster in his mind was slowly coming out of its cage. The creature that convinced him that he wasn't normal, that he... didn't like girls. The monster tried to make him see his true self, yet failed every single time. He couldn't look in a mirror without seeing its judging eyes glaring back at him.

He wished this situation could be a situation that he could run and hide from. He wished that he could just toss it to the back of his mind and forget about it in a couple hours. But when he tried to toss it, it burrowed and made a home. It lived comfortably as it waited to be released from its strong confinement.

Eric groaned angrily and closed his eyes, feeling them sting with anger and disgust. He was appalled by himself, and there wasn't anything that would ever change that. He was grey in a world of black and white. He stuck out like a sore thumb and he was tired of it.

As he threw his head back on the pillow in anger, a loud crunch was heard under the weight from his head. He slowly turned his head left and right and heard the very same crinkle. Sluggishly, he lifted himself up and turned around.

His eyes caught sight of a folded piece of notebook paper that read "Eric." Curiosity struck him and his piano fingers slowly unfolded the neatly creased paper.

Inside, a familiar scrawl filled the lined paper. The pen used had been pressed lightly against the paper, as the author always did. The capital letters were slightly slanted to the left in a way that immediately told Eric who had written the note without even looked at the closing.

**_Eric,_**

**_You know where to find me. _**

**_I'll be waiting._**

**_Hyde._**

Eric's hands trembled nervously as he gently folded the short not back to how he had originally found it. The fact that Hyde had somehow gotten in his room (unnoticed) only freaked Eric out a little bit. What worried the seventeen year old was that he knew exactly where to find him.

_'Should I just stay here?'_ Eric asked himself doubtingly. Yet he seemed to subconsciously listen to his heart and gut. He was already on his feet and walking to his dresser when he finally answered his own question.

He knew Hyde. He never passed notes or told people where he'd be. He would just disappear for days on end and come back like he hadn't been gone a single second. It seemed to Eric that he wanted to talk, that he wanted to trust him. Or at least some reassurance.

Eric quickly zipped the jeans he had worn earlier and slipped on his shoes quickly, forgetting socks. He bolted to the door and quickly ran down the hall. Never before had he been so anxious to see someone; especially Hyde. He had to be silent, however, as his parents were already in their room, hopefully sleeping.

Cautiously, he placed his toes and the balls of his feet on the first stair, testing out the creaky steps. He had spent all last summer trying to memorize which spots would creak on the carpeted stairs in case he ever sneaked out of the house. Like he was now.

Once he was down stairs, he had more confidence. Although Red had ears like a wolf, he had learned from Donna and Hyde how to creep out of the house undetected, from every exit; including his window. By now he could walk around downstairs without making a sound.

Eric ran on tip toes to the sliding glass door, grabbing his keys off of their small hanger next to the door in the process. He pushed open the door and ran out into the bitter November night air.

Gently, he pulled open the driver's side door, hearing a creak of the hinges as he did so. Eric sighed softly and sat on the cloth seat, swinging his legs into the car and stretched them out in the large space provided from the seat to the pedals. In hopes that his car would start with nothing but a purr, Eric turned the ignition. He winced when the engine rattled to life, occasionally spluttering as if it were going to shut off in a moment.

Before his parents had any time to think it was his son, he turned off the headlights and quickly pulled his Vista Cruiser out of the driveway, before high tailing it down the road. He didn't want to imagine what would happen if he was caught.

Once Eric was two blocks away from his house, he slowed down to a sluggish twenty miles an hour with dim lights to show him what was right in front of the car.

Point Place was quiet, almost dead at one in the morning. That surprised Eric. He knew there were bars that closed at one, and teens hung out down the alleys and streets until the early hours of the morning. But in the freezing November night air, not a soul was wandering around. Except two.

He hated the Wisconsin autumns and winters. Every year starting in October the temperature dropped so low he felt almost hot. Even in his car with the heat blasting as high and hot as it could, he could still see his breath. Frost covered his car and the roads; surprisingly it wasn't snow. They also reminded him of the dead months. The leaves would fall and animals would go into hibernation while people and animals would die from the treacherous roads and... illness. Only he had spring and summer to look forward to. They didn't.

Eric pressed the gas pedal harder as he neared the outskirts of town. On the western border of Point Place was where he would find his destination, and Hyde. Quickly turning down 7th Avenue, his car loudly hummed as it glided at thirty-five miles per hour.

This was the side of town that Eric didn't like. Where the houses were shabby and the people were even shabbier. While Point Place wasn't big, in fact it had less than ten thousand people, there was still a slight caste system put in place. The wealthy had the northeastern end of town, that's where the Burkharts, Macys, and Petersons lived. Then there was the average families who lived throughout the town, about in the middle; where he, Donna, Kelso, and Fez's host parents lived. Then there was the western side of town. That side was for the lower class families on the verge of poverty. Eric only knew one person who lived there.

And these were his streets. Hyde had made it his duty to completely vandalize the entire western side of Point Place. Whether it was the occasional TP'd house or spray painted stop signs, everywhere Eric looked there was a little bit of Hyde's mark. Especially outside of his own house. Every time he pulled in the driveway he avoided looking at the dark red stain on their rotting front porch.

Tearing himself away from that thought, Eric slowed to a halt at the parking lot. The heavy thicket of trees caused a heavy rustle and howl with the leaves. The air was bitter with mist and fog, which caused Eric to shiver with both cold and and fear.

Closing the door to his car, Eric walked calmly onto the grass. When he saw Hyde, what was he going to say? Was he going to scream at him and ask what the hell his problem was? Or was he going to cry and tell him that he'd always be there for him? He was clueless and nervous; he had no idea what to expect.

Eric sighed heavily as he stepped onto the first metal bar. The iron stung his fingers from the cold. He hated the climb up the ladder, yet the view and solitude was worth it.

Up on the water tower there was no one else. There was nobody to yell or push him around. He stood on top of the world, knowing all of Point Place continued on their merrily two-sided lives, oblivious of being observed. It was as if he were completely invisible. It was Hyde's favorite place.

Eric finally reached the last bar and hopped on to the water tower. He saw a silhouette sitting on the edge, arms resting on the railing. Eric tensed suddenly; what was he supposed to say?

"Hey." The voice was familiar, yet quiet and low in the dark. Eric slowly stepped closer, no able to see Hyde in a short sleeved shirt and tattered jeans; in the middle of November.

Eric hesitantly sat down. His eyes caught sight of the reddish glow from the cigarette in Hyde's hand. Taking a deep breath, he turned to Hyde.

"Where have you been?" Eric couldn't stop himself from asking the question. He had too many and he didn't want to deal with any of Hyde's nonchalant attitude.

Yet he heard a chuckle from his friend. As if this entire situation was funny. As if Eric was out of his mind and he had been with them the whole time and Eric just didn't see him.

"And there's your first lesson."

Eric raised his eyebrows in confusion. What did he mean? How the hell did Hyde teach him something by being gone? He was so confusing sometimes... most of the time.

"What?" Eric asked incredulously. "No, you can't do that! You asked me to come up here.I want answers, Hyde! Where have you been?" Eric snapped, on the verge of tears as he gazed at the man in question. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asked much softer. Hyde sighed heavily, exhaling smoke in the process.

"Would you laugh if I told you_ 'picking out my casket?'_" Eric felt his throat tighten. Was that supposed to be a joke? Hyde's smirk faded after asking his question. "I take that as a 'no.' Forman, I was around, okay? You don't need to know-"

"If you're gone a whole damn week after I see you in the hospital, then yeah, I do!" Eric cried angrily. He watched Hyde wince as he slowly took in a deep breath. "Hyde, I'm sorry but finding out my friend is dying and then not seeing him for a week freaked me out. And finding out you knew for two years and my own mother knew before me, that just pissed me off! Why couldn't you tell me? I can keep a secret, man. I mean, come on, Donna?" Eric was yelling now. And he didn't know why. Once he started, he couldn't stop, and Hyde didn't look about ready to end it for him, either. He just stared at him with an ashen face, waiting for the next word.

"Listen, I just-"

"No, you listen to me!" Eric shouted, hoping Hyde would punch him. "We've been best friends since we were two years old! You know every damn thing about me because I trust you! And you can't tell me something so important as to you DYING? That's fucking important! If we were at least friends you'd tell me that. You wouldn't let me find out you have cancer from finding you in a hospital room then talking to Donna and-"

"Cancer?" Hyde asked curiously. Eric felt his face heat in anger.

"Yes, Hyde, you have fucking cancer! Don't try to deny-" He was interrupted by a laugh. It was a mixture of amused and sad and Eric felt about ready to push his friend off. But that would only result in a closer death.

"Eric, I don't have cancer." Hyde's soft words were like a slap in the face. "I didn't tell you... because of that reason. I was going to tell you but I couldn't. Donna and your mom only know because Donna was sick of seeing me pass out-"

"Wait, Hyde-"

"Don't, let me talk. You wanted answers? I asked you here for that. After you showed up to the hospital room I knew I was royally fucked. I couldn't keep convincing myself that this was a dream and I'd wake up in a couple hours. It's been two years and right now I'm down to less than six months, so I've got to stop telling myself I'm fine. Eric, when we were talking in your room, I tried telling you. You just didn't get it. I didn't think you did. _I'm dying._" The blunt honesty of Hyde's words felt like stone crushing Eric's body, heart, and soul. His eyes felt wet when hearing the other teen's voice break. He couldn't listen to this, but he had to. He forced himself to stay seated, to look at the suffering teen who kept calling him "Eric."

"Hyde, I... what do you have, if you don't have cancer?" Hyde scoffed in anger.

"The funny thing is I don't fucking know. They keep telling me it's a bunch of diseases because my immune system has gone to shit. My T cell count is under two hundred and, well, because of that I can get any disease until it kills me. I guess you may be right about me having cancer though; they found something in my brain on Wednesday; they just have to find out if it's benign or a cancerous tumor. I can't do any more treatment, though. I'm tired."

Eric sat in shock as he listened to Hyde speak. In fact, he seemed to be pouring out his every thought as he himself tried to understand what was going on with him. He didn't know. The doctors didn't know, they were all guaranteed that what he had was terminal, though. While he had wanted to know what was wrong with Hyde, he didn't want to hear this. To hear everything he has gone through, and then he's going to end up with more. It didn't seem fair.

But he had to act like it didn't bother him. He had to be there, be strong for his friend. He'd have his time to suffer and grieve; Hyde wouldn't.

"So... they don't know? Isn't it their job to know?" Hyde laughed and nodded.

"That's what I said. Your mom looked into it a lot, though. She takes my blood all the time, for this damn study they're doing. Like I'm some fucking statistic. I'm a fucking rat."

"That's not true, Hyde." He rolled his eyes.

"In the sense of a lab rat, Eric." Hyde mumbled with an amused tone in his voice. Eric glanced at Hyde momentarily, and caught his dull gaze staring back. They both smiled at each other, and Eric couldn't help it.

Laughter suddenly ripped from inside of him. His nerves were a mess and he had no clue what else to do. His laughter was quiet but contagious, as Hyde started to crack up, too. Soon both boys were sitting on the railing, freezing their asses off as they laughed uncontrollably. There was nothing else they could do.

"I was afraid to tell you, man." Hyde finally mumbled, his voice hinted with his ceased laughter. "I wanted to, but I couldn't find the right time until you saw me. I was scared. I didn't know what you'd think. I didn't know if you'd cry and act like a baby or say "that sucks, lets do something fun while we can." Or if you'd be scared or grossed out." Hyde paused, fumbling with his fingers as he forced himself to speak. Eric could tell he was physically pushing himself to continue this speech. "I didn't tell you, not because I don't trust you... but because I trust you too much, we're too close.

This week was a test, I decided that I'd pull it off. I didn't tell anyone where I'd be or what I was doing. I couldn't see what was going on, yet I figured it would be a short amount of time for you to all get used to my absence, because... I'm not gonna be here for much longer. And you have to get used to that."

Eric felt his mouth gape open and shut multiple times as he processed what Hyde had just said. He trusted him too much? He barely told Eric anything at all!

"But I don't want to get used to you not being around!" Eric blurted the rest of his thoughts suddenly. A blush crept onto his face as Hyde turned to him with raised eyebrows. "I mean, you're my best friend. You've been there since before I can even remember and we're supposed to grow up together, get old and sit on a front porch yelling at kids to get off our lawns while drinking beer and reminiscing. Who else can I do that with? No one else knows me like you, man. I don't want to think about life without-"

Eric was silenced by a pair of lips slowly, carefully brushing against his. Eric's eyes widened as he realized what was happening, yet he didn't pull away. To his horror, to his... amazement, he felt his own lips move tenderly against Hyde's. He was... he was kissing his best friend. And to make it worse he was_ liking it._

Hyde's lips felt surprisingly smooth with a hint of cigarettes and alcohol lingering. It was a strong comparison to the roughness of his cheek. Eric was cupping his cheek... when had he done that? When did he start to lose the feeling in his own lips?

The kiss was shocking. It was soft yet full of passion Eric didn't know Hyde was capable of. It was the best kiss Eric had ever had; because it was alive. His heart swelled in his chest as Hyde slowly pulled away away, his own eyes vulnerable and scared.

"Uh..." Eric mumbled, finding it so hard to speak.

_How long had it been since he had wanted to do that?_

Hyde chuckled softly and bit his lower lip, eyes shifting back and forth between the metal base of the water tower and Eric. This was the Hyde Eric wanted to see but never had the chance to. There was no zen or guard; instead it was replaced with a sense of fear and defenseless.

_This wasn't even Hyde. It was Steven._

Eric glanced up to the blue eyed boy and felt his breath hitch in his throat. Hyde wouldn't look his way as the tears began to well in his aqua pools, causing Eric to almost shake with sadness and nervousness. He hadn't wanted any of this to happen, he just wanted to get answers and go home. Eric didn't want to see Hyde's shell completely crumble in front of him, because of him. It broke his heart.

"It's okay..." Eric whispered, outstretching his arm against his will. Hyde wiped his eyes and suppressed the soft sob in his throat. His shoulders quivered as he slowly scooted into the space below Eric's arm. "It's okay, _Steven_..." For some reason, Eric felt that saying his first name would somehow help.

He didn't know what else to do. Eric kept his arm against Steven, letting him know he was there. He kept whispering the two words occasionally, in hopes that Steven and him would somehow believe them. Never before had Eric thought he'd ever be in this position. He never thought he'd be trying to comfort Steven. Who was breaking down right before him, into him.

_He never had the chance before._

Eric knew that, it wouldn't be acceptable for Steven to abandon his facade and let people know he was terrified. His guard was permanently up until he breathed his last breath. His friends would laugh and adults would be worried. He was strong and tough; emotions didn't get to him.

Because of this, Eric was practically speechless. He was used to giving words of advice to Kelso and Fez and even Jackie. But not Steven. He gave the advice, he didn't need to be told what was right and what was wrong and how to do things. He took care of himself and never expected anything from anyone. Until now.

Eric realized it was just a cry for help, a cry for someone to see that he really did need someone to lean on. Especially since the weight was too much for him to carry. And Eric would make sure he held on strong until he fought his strongest fight.

But they didn't have to fight right now. Instead Eric whispered him words of encouragement, taken with a shuddering breath and blood-shot eyes. For now, Steven just had to know someone out there heard him and cared. Right now, Eric couldn't stop himself from pressing his lips to his temple. For now he just had to hold on.

_Right now all Eric had to do was hold him._


	4. Mask

**_Hello! Felt like updating this story, so I did! Just wanted to say thanks for your reviews and whatnot, you're all awesome. Special thanks to my beta, twiniitowers for all of the support and help she has given me. :) Thanks Carol!_**

**_Love,_**

**_Angie_**

* * *

><p>"Come on... you have to help me..." the seventeen year old grunted as he held his arm tightly around his companion's waist. He felt the broader man shift in his tight grasp and his curly hair brushed against his cheek as his head raised from Eric's shoulders.<p>

"I don't... where...?"

Steven had fallen asleep on Eric after he calmed himself down. The medicines the doctors kept him on probably made him this way. All Eric knew was he had to get both of them inside medicines that the doctors kept him on, had side effects, that made him this way.

Vista Cruiser and home before one or the other became sick... or any sicker. The last thing Steven needed was hypothermia or pneumonia. And Eric's asthma was sure to flair if he fell ill as well with any sickness caused from the cold weather.

So Eric had tried to climb down the water tower; or make his way to the ladder at least. It had been quite a task to lift Hyde; though he had lost weight, he was still stockier than Eric, and much more muscular. It was difficult for Eric to ignore the feeling of his taut abs against his arm and fingers from under the long sleeved flannel shirt his secret unrequited lover wore. Yet Eric knew what his priorities were; he didn't have time to think about how Steven felt under his clothes. He could save that for later.

The weaker teen slowly lifted his head off of Eric's bony shoulder and gazed sleepily into Eric's green eyes with an uncomfortable smile; he was clueless as to what just happened, where they were. It made Eric's stomach twist.

Eric felt his body begin to tremor, and he tightened his grip. Hyde suddenly doubled over and hung himself from Eric's strong hold. The younger boy wasn't sure what to do; he couldn't let go of him, didn't want to move him, but he needed to sit, or lay down. Deciding to climb the water tower was one of the dumbest choices Hyde had ever made.

"Fuck..." Eric heard the older teen whimper before lurching forward. Eric closed his eyes as he heard Steven retch over the railing of the water tower. Eric tightened his hold on him, to let him know that he was there, and that he wasn't alone.

As he held Steven tightly, Eric felt his body begin to convulse with violent trembles. He hoped it was just from the cold and not a seizure... _did he have seizures?_Eric had no clue what to do, yet he wasn't throwing up anymore. Slowly and carefully, Eric decided to gently pull him back up to a standing position.

"We need to get down from here, and quick. Do you need me to help?" Eric asked the ashen faced teen. Hyde wouldn't even look at Eric as he shook his head slowly. Eric felt his own blood run cold as he saw the obvious shame written on Hyde's face; it had been a horrible idea to kiss him. "Will you be okay?" Steven nodded before holding on to the railing tightly. "I'll go down first so you-"

"I'm not a baby, Forman," Hyde hissed darkly, voice hoarse from the acid and bile that he vomited. Eric sighed and nodded, not wanting to argue with him, who was clearly out of it.  
>Eric began to climb down the ladder slowly and watched above as Hyde staggered to the rungs. He wanted to make sure Steven wouldn't try to hurry down the ladder like usual. He wanted to make sure he would be safe.<p>

As he continued the descent from the water tower, Eric's fingers began to numb. He tried his hardest to ignore the painful tingling throughout his hands; it turned out to act as motivation to reach solid ground.

Finally, his feet did touch the thick blanket of snow freezing the dead grass and soil from beneath. The mass of frozen flakes seeped in through his denim jeans, and seemed to burn his skin. At least Hyde was wearing boots.

Two footsteps crunched int the snow and Eric caught Hyde's momentarily pained facial expression. He needed to get him in the car, and fast.

"We don't have to walk very-" Eric was interrupted abruptly by the sound of Steven hurling.

Without thinking, Eric placed his hand on Steven's clothed back and very slowly, very gently rubbed his back. It was something Eric liked to feel when he was sick. It was also surely a million times better than the kicks Steven used to receive for vomiting.

"E-Eric... it... oh God..." He tried to speak, yet hung his head once more as he hurled bile. Eric felt the back of his shirt and it was damp from the clammy sweat that formed all over his body. "It hurts..." he whimpered, body convulsing as the third round of the bile vs. esophagus war began. Eric felt his heart sink was he felt Steven's dry heaves violently wrack his shoulders. Like heavy sobs.

"Just breathe through your nose..." Eric whispered comfortingly as his hand ran through his long and surprisingly soft curls; curiosity killed the cat. Steven did as he was told, slowly the heaves turned into shaky breathing and his furious shaking was a soft tremble.

He watched as Steven attempted to stand on his still shaking legs and chuckled. As he outstretched his hand, the older teen glanced at it warily before cautiously placing his larger, callused hand in the soft, piano player-like hand. Eric pulled him up, or more like gave Steven leverage, and sighed in relief. He was glad to see his friend was actually able to stand on both feet; he literally couldn't carry him.

"What're you...?" Eric asked, eyeing Hyde as he scooped up a small clump of snow in his hands. How the hell could he want to have a snowball fight? Eric wasn't in the mood and Hyde shouldn't be, either.

Yet Eric relaxed as Hyde opened his mouth only to close it again, with the snowball on his tongue. Eric raised his eyebrows as he watched his friend tap his hands in patience, as if he hadn't gotten sick and wasn't tired at all. He held back his laughter as he watched Hyde's mouth twitch as he swished the water in his mouth; now it made sense. As he kicked the soft layer of snow over his vomit, Hyde spit out the water from his mouth, and coughed slightly.

"My mouth tasted like shit." Hyde grumbled, voice raw from the acid. Eric glanced over at Steven momentarily.

"Actually it would taste like puke, which is probably-" After receiving the death glare from Steven's watery, bloodshot blue eyes, Eric silenced. Steven's gaze returned to Eric, and a small smirk appeared on his face; he accepted his smart mouth.

The two walked back to the Vista Cruiser in silence, Hyde's arms were crossed over his stomach and his jaw was clenched tightly, trying to hide the fact that he was shivering and his teeth were chattering. Eric stifled back a smile and slowly wriggled out of his dark blue winter coat, then handed it to Hyde. Reluctantly, he took it, and slipped his arms into the sleeves. Eric didn't want him to get any more ill than he already was.

"Thanks..." Steven murmured, eyes set on the ground as he dug in the pockets.

"No problem...?" Eric trailed off, unsure of why Hyde was searching his coat. From the light post next to the car, Eric watched Hyde's ashen cheeks flush slightly as he stared at Eric with embarrassed eyes.

"Do you have any gum?" This time, Eric did chuckle, earning another glare from Steven.

"In the car," he answered, Hyde gave a nonchalant nod and continued to stare ahead, as if he were alone.

"You can stay at my house if you want, I can set up the cot again, or I can sleep in the basement..." Eric trailed off, unsure of what to say. He just didn't want Hyde to go home to Edna. God knows what that woman would do to him. He watched as Steven shrugged his shoulders, which caused the seventeen-year-old to roll his eyes in annoyance. He hated it when he did that; he was trying to be nice but his offers were shot to hell with a fucking shrug.

In silence the two boys approached the car, one in anger, the other in confusion. Eric opened the door and slid into the cold clothed seat before slamming the driver's side door shut. The same metallic bang was heard as the passenger door closed.

Eric turned the keys in the ignition and pressed the pedal to milk his boat of a car to life. The engine sputtered until finally the Vista Cruiser roared. He remained in park while his car warmed up, so that the heater would be comforting for both of them.

A rustling from the passenger seat caused Eric to turn and watch his friend with an amused expression. Steven carefully pulled his arms out of the feather-filled winter coat and pulled his legs tightly to his chest; something he had done since he was a child. He then placed the body of the coat over his legs and torso, and slipped his arms back in the sleeves. Eric refrained from breaking out into a large smile and a fit of laughter; _God help him he thought it was adorable. _

Eric remembered Hyde had asked about gum and slowly reached over the passenger side end. He felt Steven's icy blue eyes staring him down as he reached over to where his knees should have been. Eric chose to ignore the fact that he was being watched, and opened the glove compartment. He pulled out his packet of Trident mint gum, and handed Steven the pack, after taking one for himself.

"Thanks," Hyde mumbled as he popped three pieces of gum in his mouth like a pill.

"You're welcome, it's just gum..." Eric trailed off, watching as Hyde's demeanor changed right before his eyes. The older boy turned to face Eric, still curled up, yet he seemed more awake; as if someone had just given him some beer or LSD.

"We can talk now, I mean... I know you like to talk. So you can talk. I just didn't want to talk because of my breath but now I have gum, but that's besides the point. I don't do the talking anyway, you talk." Eric raised his eyebrows skeptically at Steven. He wasn't the rambling type. Whenever he spoke, he was confident and concise with his phrasing. He stuck to the point, there was never a time he'd use more than ten words to explain something. Plus he never wanted people "to talk." _Was he nervous?_A smirk grew on Eric's face as he decided to try something.

Eric chose to ignore Steven's suggestion to talk and finally pulled the car out from the empty space of the makeshift parking lot by the water tower. Thankfully the snow was soft, otherwise his car would be stuck.

"Uh... so do you want me to drop you off at your house? Or just head to my house?" Eric asked nonchalantly, trying to act as if he had the zen. Hyde shrugged his shoulders and slid the coat off of his body, the heater was practically scorching their skin. But it would help keep Steven healthier than the cold.

"Your house. 'Cause it's just easier, and Edna kicked me out... just for the night. I'm shutting up now..." Steven trailed off, staring out the windshield as he looked anywhere, but at the driver. Eric's face fell as he realized this. He was nervous, maybe embarrassed. Was it that he got sick? Did he not want him to know about being kicked out? Or was it because they kissed? Eric's heart fell as he thought the last question. That had to be it.

"Okay, you can have my bed. I'll sleep in the basement." Eric mumbled, turning onto fourth street. He didn't want to talk anymore, he just wanted silence in the car and to get away from Hyde as fast as possible. He ruined their friendship... _he ruined everything._

Both seemed to relax into the silence that overcame the car. After five minutes, Eric heard slow, deep breathing from Steven and sighed; he probably fell asleep. Dare he look over? _Yes, he dared._ His green eyes shifted slowly to where Hyde was practically laying on the seat, still curled up. But facing him, with bright blue eyes wide open, staring at him with a straight face. Eric jumped in shock and shook his head in anger._ How the hell did he do that?_

"I thought you were asleep," Eric mumbled, turning his attention back to driving. He heard the relaxed breathing again, and felt his tension disappear. He had never seen Hyde so peaceful, it was almost as if he were sleeping.

"No, it's too early." Eric scoffed; _only 12:45 _would be early for Hyde. "Thank you." Eric's ears perked at the quiet murmur from a very vulnerable sounding Hyde. Eric cautiously peered over again, expecting to see wide, almost child-like eyes that were usually hidden by his shades. Instead, they were concealed by closed lids. Eric's heart skipped as he noticed his lips were parted slightly as he breathed easily.

"You're welcome..." Eric replied for what felt like the hundredth time that night. He didn't even know what he was thanking him for.

About five minutes later, Eric pulled into his driveway. The drive back seemed so much quicker than the drive to the water tower. He turned the ignition after putting his car in park, and quietly opened his door. "Hyde," Eric mumbled, he couldn't say Steven, it would only make him expect something he'd never have. "We're home." He heard the sleeping man groan from the sudden sleep intrusion and slowly he stretched his legs from his chest. Eric opened the passenger door and waited for Hyde, who was still half-asleep as he stood up on wobbly legs.

"They're asleep," he mumbled hoarsely with a drunk-like grin on his face. "It's all tingly..." Eric laughed quietly as he allowed Hyde to place his arm over his shoulder. When Steven was vulnerable, he was too weak. _Almost like a child. _And it seemed to be nearly unbearable for Eric; he was never able to show this side of him, especially when he was growing up.

"You can borrow some of my pajamas," Eric mumbled, pulling open the sliding glass doors. He lead them into the dark kitchen, and turned on the light; he didn't care if he woke his parents. As soon as his mom saw Steven, she'd understand.

"I need my meds..." Hyde mumbled limping farther into the kitchen. Eric chuckled as he began walking to the downstairs medicine cabinet with the over-the-counter medicines like Tylenol and allergy medications.

"No, you don't..." Eric replied with a laugh. Hyde's wide eyes suddenly turned dark as Eric approached him; no wonder he wore the shades, they revealed everything. Hyde kept his glare on Eric momentarily before opening the cabinet, pulling out four large bottles. Eric tilted his head in curiosity; when did those get there?

Hyde opened each one by one and pulled out various amounts of pills from each. Eric couldn't catch the name of the prescription, but they,as the labels stated, were made for Steven Hyde. Eric's smile faltered, he was telling the truth. To make up for laughing, Eric got him a Cola. He watched as Hyde unscrewed the cap, and took all nine of his pills down with one gulp.

"I have fifteen minutes before I pass out. I'm a time bomb!" Hyde joked sarcastically, this was what Eric was used to. The Steven in the car was turning back into the Hyde he was familiar with. He wanted _Steven_.

Eric walked upstairs with Hyde at his heels, he would get Hyde his pajamas and then go downstairs to sleep. He'd probably just stay in the living room rather than the basement; it was too cold.

Turning on the light to his room, Eric immediately headed to his dresser drawers, and opened the bottom two. He tossed out two worn shirts, one was his old The Beatles logo t-shirt that he wore in middle school; which sadly still fit. The other was a plain dark grey shirt that was a little baggy on him. Hyde took the shirt offered for him, and watched from a foot away as Eric dug for a larger pair of pajama pants for his more muscular friend.

"Here, these should do." Eric mumbled, handing Hyde a pair of dark blue sweatpants. Hyde nodded and took a few steps away from Eric before stripping. Eric tried to hide his shock that Hyde was just changing in front of him... but they had done it all the time in the past. _Why was it so weird now? _Eric took a deep breath and pulled his top off, trying to ignore the fact that Hyde was shirtless and unbuckling his belt.

Eric closed his eyes, that's the only thing he could do. Otherwise he'd be too tempted to watch his friend change, and that was just weird. _But not if you're wrong._ Like he was.

Eric heard a soft metallic tink and opened his eyes, Hyde was folding his jeans, fully clothed. Even in the baggy shirt, Eric could still see his pecs. "Damn," Eric whispered, shaking his head at his thinking, causing Hyde to raise an eyebrow at him in confusion. He then sat on Eric's bed, above the blankets, and leaned back on the pillow. Eric sighed heavily and felt his breath hitch. Hyde was ill and tired,_ he could not be thinking about that._

"I know what it's like," Hyde whispered, staring at Eric with his icy blue eyes. Eric took a step closer to the bed before sitting at the foot.

"What?" Eric asked, watching as Hyde's shoulder shook, caused by his laugh. What was so funny?

"To feel wrong." He answered as if what he were talking about were obvious. Eric raised his eyebrows, trying to hide his shock. What was he trying to say? "To feel different from everybody else. Knowing I'll never be a Henry the Eighth or Casanova. But at least I won't be a Liberace." Hyde chuckled softly after finishing his sentence. Eric felt opposite, however; how could he laugh?

"You don't know what you're talking about, Hyde." Eric watched as Hyde sat up straighter. "You're wrong, you know that?"

"Oh, I am?" He asked, a smirk on his face as he leaned closer to Eric on his knees.

"Yes, you are!" Eric tried his hardest to avoid his squeaky voice. He didn't get what Hyde was saying or doing, or more like, he couldn't believe it. Was he sleeping? This couldn't be happening. "I'm not a..." Eric trailed off, blazing green eyes glaring angrily into Hyde's amused light blue pools. He was too close for Eric's liking. He could see himself in Hyde's eyes.

"You're not a what?" Hyde whispered, Eric suppressed the shudder caused by his hot breath that tickled him. "What, Eric?" He asked, eyes turning darker by the millisecond.

"N-nothing..." Eric choked, he winced at the sharp scoff that came from Hyde's throat. Eric closed his eyes, he couldn't see Hyde leaning to him, on his hands and knees, face less than six inches from him. _It was too tempting, too wrong._

"Oh, I don't think it was nothing," Eric's breath stopped as he felt the bed shift, Hyde moved even closer to him. _Oh God_. "Say it," Eric gasped as Hyde whispered in his ear, his breath felt like it could burn his ear.

"I..." Eric whimpered, glancing at Hyde's eyes; glazed over by medication, it had to be. His medication made him like this, that's all. And if he were on his medication, he wouldn't remember any of this when he woke up. "I'm not... a fag." Eric's mouth formed the words, yet his voice was mute. Hyde cocked an eyebrow and sighed softly, minty breath sending shivers down Eric's spine. His eyes were piercing through Eric's, as if he was reading his soul, so the seventeen year old closed his eyes and turned his head. Bad idea.

His heart thudded erratically as the soft pair of lips met his again in a kiss that could shatter steel. Eric leaned in and melted into the slow, passionate lip-lock. It made him free; his heart was a muddle of mush and his every nere tingled in shock from the livewire kiss.

He couldn't help himself. Eric moaned against Hyde's lips as the man in control massaged their tongues together. Already, Eric's face was heated and his blood flooded through his veins like a broken levee.

Eric wonderd when his hands cupped Hyde's cheek and ran through his curly, ginger-brown hair. He wondered when Hyde had pinned him against his headboard and straddled him.  
>His heart was fluttering a million beats per second as Hyde gently sucked on the pallid flesh of Eric's neck, then nipped at the mark that immediately bruised. Eric shuddered and relished in the euphoria he was in. No girl,<em> not even the saucy little neighbor girl,<em> could ever make him feel like this. _And he wasn't alone._

Eric moaned as Hyde reconnected their already swollen lips. The feeling of their mouths melding felt so right, like they were meant to be.

And then he felt the punch.

Eric gasped in pain after Hyde viciously hit his stomach. Eric, still in his daze, stared up at the young man, his head fuzzier than being drunk. Insead of a lusty expression like his own, Hyde scowled down at him in disgust.

"And _you're_ not a _fag_, Eric?" Hyde growled lowly, no sign of ecstasy in his eyes.

He didn't know what to say. He gazed into Steven's eyes and felt sick; all he saw was hurt. "You know one of my _uncles_ called me a _fag_. But only after he made me suck him off and..." he trailed off, taking a deep breath, staring at Eric's shoulder. "So what, are you gonna start-"

"Wait! What did your _uncle _do to you?" Eric cried in a whisper, his stomach churning. He caught the fear in Steven's eyes as he looked away. Did he even want to know? A part of him begged to find out, while the rest just quieted his curiosity.

"That's besides the point. If I'm a _fag_ in your eyes. Then you are too, I just proved it." Eric stared at Hyde with shock. All of this, them kissing, had been a _test_? And did he just tell him that he was a homosexual, too? _Hyde? Unbelievable._

"This was just a test?" Eric asked weakly, trying to ignore the painful skip in his heart as he realized he wanted it to be more. He wanted more from Hyde. He wanted more from _Steven_.

"Did it seem like one?" Steven asked softer, shifting his gaze back to Eric. His eyes were lit up with a tired happiness, something Eric had never seen before.

"Well, no..." It didn't seem like a test at all._ It was the best kiss he ever had._ It was the most complete he had ever felt throughout his entire life. A smug smile pulled Hyde's lips, yet his eyes betrayed him. In those eyes Eric saw a shine of excitement and adoration, almost.

"Good," Steven murmured, eye lids drooping as he gaze sleepily at Eric. "'Cause it's all I ever..." he trailed off. Eric stared up at Steven, whose head hung from his shoulders. Eric shook his head; he wanted to hear what he was going to say. He still wanted to talk.

"Wait..." Eric began, "no, no, Hyde. You can't... you're not falling asleep on me! Come..." he paused, suddenly laughing quietly as he realized what position he was in. He never though he'd be the one to hold Hyde. Or be with him like this at all. Yet there he was, sleeping in the crook of Eric's arm, his arm draped over his waist.

The seventeen year old shook his head and a smile formed on his lips as he kissed Steven's forehead. _At least he had tonight_, he thought, resting his head back on his pillow. For the first and last time, he'd finally be able to rest easy.


	5. Promise

"Oh God, Steven..." Eric heard himself say in his sleep.

His dream was so vivid. So real... he could see the curly haired teen laying on top of him, leaving a trail of kisses from his mouth to the waistband of his jeans. All the while scratching his nails down his back. A devilish smirk had spread over his pale face as he straddled him-

"Someone's happy." Eric's eyes widened as he heard the teasing voice. A blush crept on his face as Eric realized neither he nor Steven had moved an inch since last night. Meaning he was still laying on him, fully able to feel his normal morning problem. "I'm glad I get you all riled up," Steven chirped, his hand resting on Eric's stomach. _He was teasing him._ "What exactly was I doing in your dream?" He paused momentarily, leaning in closer to him. "This?" His lips barely caressed the corner of Eric's mouth. "Or this?" His breath hitched as Steven lowered his kisses to his barely showing collarbone. He gasped and closed his eyes, trying his hardest to contain himself. "How 'bout this?" Steven asked through his kissing, and began to slowly lift Eric's shirt over his head; he shivered as Steven's fingertips tickled his skin.

"Oh God..." Eric gasped breathlessly, feeling his best friend attack his chest with frenzied kisses and soft bites. Why was Steven doing this to him? _They couldn't do this, not now, but he wanted it so bad._

"Oh God." That didn't sound good. Eric slowly fluttered his eyes open and found Steven was sitting at the edge of the bed; how had he done that so fast? He sat up as well and inched closer to the hunched over seventeen year old. A sick feeling washed over him as he noted the ashen grey/green color Steven's flesh had turned.

"Steven?" Eric asked, placing his arm on his shoulder. Heavy breathing was heard as the man in question clutched his head between his knees. He could feel his body tremor slightly against his touch. "Are you okay?" He didn't know what else to ask or what to do. He was being faced with something he couldn't handle right now or ever. But so was Steven, or Hyde, or whoever he was going to be today.

He wasn't sure what to do when Hyde stood up. But he was up on his feet in a moment as he collapsed, earning a loud crack from his ankle. A groan of pain came from Steven's crumpled body and he shook his head.

All the color drained from Eric's face as he knelt down beside Steven. He didn't know if he should try to help him up or tell his mom something was wrong, or even call the ambulance. He just didn't know. Instinctly, however, his hand reached out and turned his chin up so Eric could see his agonized eyes.

"E-Eric I n-n-need my-" his request ended with a loud scream as he squeezed his eyes shut from pain. His knees curled to his chest as he wrapped his arms around his stomach; he was trying to shut out his pain.

Eric glanced up in curiosity when hearing footsteps pound violently down the hall, to the stairs. His mom probably knew what was going on and knew what Steven needed. He hated being oblivious.

_If only he could help in some way._

In all honesty, he was terrified. Never before had he seen Steven Hyde so vulnerable or show that he was in pain. He hadn't ever heard him scream like that, either. It was probably the worst sound he ever heard; he didn't even want to imagine the inner torture he was going through. His gaunt face said all Eric needed to understand.

"Move!" Eric was pushed back suddenly by a strong force that couldn't come from his mother. Once he got over the shock of falling on his butt, he did a double take at the woman in front of him, grabbing Hyde forcefully and holding him in her arms. "Eric, open this bottle for me, please? Quick!" The red headed teen barked as she placed a damp and folded wash cloth on Steven's forehead.

With trembling hands, Eric twisted the child-proof cap off of the pill bottle. He wasn't sure how many of the large pills Hyde would need to take; he figured one, but handed Donna three. She sent him a strained smile before gliding her hands down Steven's cheek. Probably to calm him down, or that's what Eric told himself.

"Hyde, no, no, no! Don't... dammit!" She paused, then turned to face the wide eyed boy staring in horror at the two people in front of him. "Hold open his mouth and hand me the pills. We have to do this now." Donna ordered slowly, one arm wrapped around Hyde's torso, the other holding the back of his head. "Now!"

Immediately, Eric crawled over to Donna and Hyde and hesitantly opened his mouth. His lips felt incredibly dry compared to last night, and he could see various scars in his mouth. With Donna next to him with a juice glass of water, Eric dropped one of the pills on his tongue, followed by a sip of water that Donna forced Hyde to swallow.

"Do you have any tongue depressors?" She asked him calmly, still holding on to Hyde, Eric furrowed his eyebrows. "Just go and get me a Popsticle stick or spoon... something!" She ordered, hands pressed on either side of Steven's face.

Within five seconds Eric was out the door and bolting downstairs. He didn't have time to go all the way down to the basement, Donna sounded urgent. And Hyde needed this. He wasn't going to let whatever he was going through get any worse. And he wasn't going to look any more stupid than he already did in front of Donna.

Quickly he yanked open the freezer door and pulled out a box of twin pops and tore off the wrapper. While his left hand held the two sticks, he slid the frozen orange popsicle off and into the sink where it would melt. If his parents had questions they could just ask Donna.

Eric zipped up the stairs faster than Speedy Gonzalez and skidded to a halt outside of his open door. It was all he could do to not scream or cry or throw up in shock at the mess of Steven on the floor.

Donna held his head back as his body convulsed violently, her eyes were closed as she breathed deeply. Was he having a seizure? _It had to be... what else could it be?_ Eric felt his stomach knot as he watched his best friend shake and his glazed blue eyes roll to the back of his head.

What he wanted to know was how did Donna know what to do? Was this a part of his whole "sick" thing or was it because of something else? He didn't understand and he wanted to. He wanted to be there for Steven like Donna was; a new kind of jealousy began to rise.

Eric bent down and reached for his shoulder, yet Donna's arm shot out, grabbing his wrists and she glared at him.

"Don't touch him unless you want to end up hurt." She whispered through gritted teeth, Eric took a deep breath and handed her the popsicle sticks. She smiled softly and set them on the ground; were his efforts nothing to her? She needed them and now she wasn't going to use them?

_He loathed her sometimes._

But he suddenly understood why she didn't need it. Right before his eyes, Steven's tremors waned into erratic breathing. He relaxed as his eyes slowly opened with confusion evident in his expression.

"How did I...?" He asked, voice shaking as he stared up at Donna. She smiled softly at him and dabbed at his forehead with the damp wash cloth.

"You had another one..." she mumbled, helping Hyde sit up.

And suddenly it was awkward. Not the awkward- someone just had a seizure but... 'hey Donna, I'm gay and I think I might be in love with Hyde who is pretty much sitting on you!' awkward. Eric couldn't look at either of them as they quietly talked with one another. They seemed to have a connection much stronger than they had with him; his jealousy level rose as he heard them whisper.

"Eric, can you help me here?" Donna asked, then nodded her head to a scowling Hyde. He gave a short nod before standing and looping Hyde's arm over his shoulder. Eric noticed Steven wouldn't look anywhere else except the floor either; he was ashamed.

Of what? That he had a seizure? That he is sick, and dying? That someone needs to help him stand because he's too weak? Eric could see why he would be humiliated, yet it was Hyde. He did everything for everyone and got nothing in return. And no one even noticed his faltering state.

"Guys... c'mon I don't-"

"Hyde, you know the rule. No arguing, I don't care how you feel. This was your third seizure in four days. Mrs. Forman has to check your vitals and-"

"Get bent." Hyde growled, pulling Eric's blankets over his body. Eric turned to Donna who was in a mode he had never seen; she was going to make a great mother, if she decided to have kids.

"Eric, we should go..." Donna trailed off, her gaze set on Hyde whose eyes were closed. He nodded and followed Donna out of his room.

In silence, they walked down the hall and down the stairs. He avoided eye contact and any physical contact with her; he couldn't pull of this facade anymore. After last night he knew if he wanted to maintain a friendship relationship with Donna then he'd have to break this "thing" that they had off. He couldn't keep lying to her, or himself.

The pair entered the kitchen and were met by the smell of omelets and toast. Eric found his mother happily cooking and humming as she waited to flip the egg.

"Good morning Eric! Donna, nice to see you...?" The questioning tone at the end of her sentence was her way of asking why she was here. Donna knew this and bit her lip softly.

"Hyde had another seizure, I was coming over to hang with Eric and I saw it." She murmured, head down. The happiness in his mother's face drained as she heard the words from the young woman. "Mrs. Forman, I don't know-"

"Thank you, Donna, you're such a sweetheart. There is nothing to worry about though, Steven will be just fine." Kitty replied with a laugh as she patted Donna's shoulder. They watched as she left the kitchen and Donna shook her head in disbelief.

"Eric, your mom can't be serious. He's had four seizures this week. They used to only happening like three times in a year. He's getting worse and I..." Eric placed his hand on her shoulder as her voice broke.

"She knows, she just tries to make everything seem better than it really is. Tries to keep us innocent while she can..." He loved his mom, but he hated how she sugar-coated everything. She was probably in denial about Steven's failing health as well.

_They all were._

Eric sat down at the table next to Donna, who seemed unusually guarded. Eric deserved it though.

"Donna... we need to talk," he mumbled, earning a light chuckle from the girl next to him.

"That's not a first..." she quietly murmured to herself, smile fading after her comment. "Okay, I'm all ears."

Eric sighed. He had to just come out and say it. He couldn't sweeten what he had to say with, "it's not you, it's me" even though that was true. He couldn't tell her in the nicest way possible because he knew that's not what she'd want to hear.

"I'm sorry, Donna... but this thing we have..." he began, pausing for the right words. He finally gazed into her blue eyes and caught an almost knowing expression on her face. "I can't keep doing this. I love you, but as a sister, not a friend." A small smile appeared on her face and Eric paled.

_Oh God, had she gone crazy?_

"May I ask why?" She questioned, he felt his breath hitch in his throat and his heart rate quickened immensely.

"You see the other day, well night, but early night, I had a talk with someone and I realized I'm not attracted to you. But not you specifically, I mean-"

"You're not attracted to girls." Donna finished for him. His jaw dropped in awe as she spoke nonchalantly. "Yeah, I've had this conversation before." Now it was Eric's turn to be confused.

"Wait, you're just... okay? I mean, I feel awful. But yeah, you're... uh... right." Donna nodded and laughed quietly.

"Yeah, I had a feeling he'd win." Eric raised his eyebrows at her comment. "You talked to Hyde the other night about me, didn't you?" He slowly nodded. "And when did you realize you weren't... heterosexual?" She whispered, Eric felt a blush creep on his face.

He couldn't openly talk about this! _How could she be so... okay with all of this?_

"How are you not mad at me?" He asked her in shock.

"I could sort of tell you weren't exactly a normal boy when we were younger. Besides, I've heard a lot weirder things." Donna chirped, Eric sighed heavily.

"Like...?" Eric questioned with a tone of annoyance.

"God, what got shoved up your ass and... wait, that could actually-"

"Donna!" Eric cried, his eyes nearly bugging out of their sockets. He slapped his forehead against his palm and shook his head in disbelief. _How could she joke?_

"And wait, why do you care if St-Hyde talked to me?" Eric inquired, eyebrows furrowed.

"Well, _did_ you talk to Hyde about me?" After Eric gave a slow nod, a more genuine smile appeared on her lips. "You're not the only gay person in our group." He nodded once more; of course he wasn't, he knew that. Why else would Hyde make out with him?

_ Although he sometimes wondered about Fez._

"I know. Why? How do _you_ know?" Donna sighed and bit her lip nervously before answering.

"There's a lot you don't know about Hyde..." she trailed off; Eric nearly hit his head against the table in aggravation. He hated it when people tried to prolong the process of a story.

"Like?" He urged her in hopes she'd get right to the information she withheld all these years.

"It's a long story," Donna mumbled nervously, playing with her hands. Eric turned to the kitchen door and shrugged.

"We've got time..."

* * *

><p><strong><em>Flashback<em>**

**_1971_**

Twelve year old Donna Pinciotti closed the broken screen door and took a step into the cluttered house.

A part of her was scared. She was never allowed in Hyde's house, even when Edna was gone. Like she was now. Usually Hyde would be sitting on his front porch with a beer, waiting for Donna so they could drive aimlessly away from his "shit hole" of a house.

But he hadn't been outside and she had waited out there for nearly twenty minutes. So she decided to sneak inside.

A loud thud against a wall was heard down the hall, followed by a muffled cry.

Donna's stomach squirmed uneasily as she walked closer to Hyde's room. She could hear a string of mushed angry words against the sound of soft crying.

Her fear rose, yet her curiosity and courage were stronger than the apprehension as she opened Hyde's bedroom door. She froze in horror at the sight in front of her. Donna couldn't even scream as her mind etched the memory of the older man that Hyde's mother was dating, holding a knife to her best friend's chest as he... she couldn't even say it.

She had never seen anything like this; it was wrong. Wrong on so many levels. This was a million times worse than catching her parents on the hammock. _This was sexual assault on a child._ Donna felt her throat choke as she saw her friend's tears mix with the blood on his face as he kept his eyes shut tight.

Slowly and as if in a daze, Donna backed away and shut the door. She was traumatized, in shock, and about to be sick.

**_1973_**

"Are you sure this is okay?" Donna heard Hyde whisper in the night as he silently closed her bedroom window he had just climbed through. She nodded at the lanky boy standing in front of her and smiled weakly.

"I just don't want you there anymore. Look at what they've done to you." Donna whispered, fingers tracing down his arms while her eyes caught his black, red and blue skin. She could barely see a part of his exposed skin that wasn't bruised, swollen, or cut. She didn't want to know what he looked like _under_ his clothes, either.

_His body was a warzone._

She scoffed as Hyde just shrugged his shoulders and sat on her bed with his small grocery bag of clothes; he didn't have much to his name. "I made a little bed in my closet, it's not much but-"

"It'll be perfect." Hyde interrupted with a smirk and another shrug. Donna sat next to him and bit her lip nervously before looking into his eyes. She saw his stricken eyes staring at her as he perched on her bed. "And you haven't told anyone?"

"No," she whispered, hearing him sigh with relief as he allowed himself to fall back on her bed.

It had been hard. The first thing she had wanted to do was tell Mrs. Forman, or Red even. Donna couldn't go to her parents, though, they'd never allow it. Not only was Hyde a boy, but it was _Hyde_. For some reason always had something against him.

But she had kept his mouth shut for him. Donna knew he was terrified at the thought of leaving he people who truly cared about him. And if she said anything, his fear could easily become reality.

"Hyde? Can I uh... ask you something?" Donna waited for his usual nod. "Have you ever kissed anyone?" She winced at his sharp laugh and watched him nod once more.

"Yeah, I've had sex too, if that was your next question." Donna's stomach squirmed when hearing the second part to his answer.

"What is kissing like? Like... do you know you're doing it right? How do you tell if you're good or bad? And what is sex like? I'm sorry, I just... like someone. And... well... yeah." She trailed off. Now that Hyde was camping out in her room, it was like having an older brother she could talk to about everything. He would give her advice and answer her questions, as always, yet they'd be living under the same roof.

Donna noticed a smirk grew on his face as he coughed softly. "Someone as in your scrawny neighbor boy?" He asked playfully, a blush crept on her face in reply, and she noted a look of hurt cross his face. "And you just do it... you can only get better. Just don't freak out over your kissing that will just make it worse. And I can't answer the sex-thing, I'm not a girl. That is way different for me than it is for you. But I guess I can say that it all depends on the guy you're with, some can be nice or gentle about it and others will just be their normal horny selves. Eric's more of a gentle guy." A deeper blush grew on her face at the mention of Eric as he laughed softly.

Donna bit her lip once more and gazed into his dull blue yes; he was hiding his feelings again. She hated it when he did that.

"Can you uh... teach me?" His eyebrows raised at her question. "I know that's awkward but I trust-" she didn't have time to finish her sentence, as Hyde captured her lips in a soft kiss. She could feel her mouth tingle as his shockingly smooth lips gently massaged her almost chapped lips; did he use lip balm?

Nervously and tenderly Donna kissed him back; still in awe that he could kiss so well and be so gentle. _It almost made her like him._ Suddenly, she felt him laugh against her mouth before pulling away. Her throat felt unbearably tight as she saw his mirthful face.

"Was I really that bad?" She whispered dejectedly, Hyde shook his head and wiped his lips.

"No, no you were okay," she felt a form of relief was through her. "But for me it's like ice-skating." Donna tilted her head in confusion. "Something I can't do." He answered matter of factly. Donna gave a nod, still confused. What couldn't he do, and why? Did he like her?

"Do you like me...?" She asked. She would be flattered, but Hyde wasn't her type. They were like siblings. She hoped that this wouldn't ruin their relationship though.

A new round of shock was brought to her system as she saw the fourteen year old boy laugh as he shook his head. She might have even been a little hurt.

"No, man... you're pretty, but not my type." She felt a form of relief wash through her as she smiled at his compliment. No one had ever called her pretty before.

"Thanks... I'm taking both as a compliment since I'm never going to be like Pam Macy." Hyde snorted.

"She's not my type, either." Donna cocked an eyebrow in disbelief. "Can I tell you something?" Hesitantly, Donna nodded. "Donna, man... I'm a... um... how do I say this...? I'm homosexual." Her eyes widened in shock from her best friend's words. Hyde? _Homosexual?_ He was the last of his friends she would have ever thought to be! Eric had more chances of being gay than him!

"You don't like girls?" She watched as Hyde shook his head. "How do you know? When did you realize this?" Hyde grimaced as he shrugged.

"It's just something I know, you know? Like... does a bear shit in the woods? Or if a tree falls with no one around, does it make a sound? Yes bears do and yes when trees fall, they make a sound. So yeah, I'm a queer-"

"But you're not queer!" Hyde smiled weakly at her outburst. His way of saying thanks.

"Anyway, I just know this. I'm not attracted to girls, sure they're pretty, yeah I've been with girls, had sex with girls but it just felt wrong. And I've known this since I was about eleven, I'd say..." He trailed off, scratching at his arms.

"So when I saw you and your mom's boyfriend, that was... something you _wanted_?" Hyde's jaw tensed and he shook his head.

"No. I didn't ask for that, he was a sick bastard. He messed me up really bad and... he made me afraid of what... or who I am. You know?" Donna felt tears in her eyes when seeing the disgust in himself written all over Hyde's face. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around him in a hug and slowly, she felt him embrace her.

_**1975**_

"Donna... I'm dying." The words came as a shock to the nearly sixteen year old girl. "I did what you asked me to and the doctor told me I'm dying. Now I have to be on all these fucking meds and treatments until I die." Donna couldn't believe what she was hearing.

_ This couldn't be happening. Hyde couldn't be dying._

"How do they know? They're wrong!" Donna cried, tears falling from her face. "They just read the tests wrong, there is something they can do, I just-"

"Donna, dammit!" Hyde shouted angrily, "The tests said my T cell count is almost below two hundred. They don't know what's wrong with me but... with a lowered T cell count I'll be less immune to diseases. So whatever I end up getting will kill me."

"But they can cure the illnesses you get!" Donna fought back, brushing back her tears. Hyde shook his head.

"I don't care. I'm sick and I'm tired and I'd rather die than feel like this. I'm just tired, okay? The fainting and the losing weight and constant forgetfulness, it all has to do with this thing I have. I guess I'm going to become some part of a study or something. Like I'm some fucking statistic..." Donna shook her head and grabbed his shoulders.

"You're not going to die, Steven James Hyde. I won't let you. I love you too much to just let you go," she choked, squeezing him in a tight hug. She couldn't forget the feeling of hot teras rolling down her neck; he was crying as well.

"Donna, I don't know how much time is left, but... you're the only person who knows who I like... and I'm done. I just want the both of you to be happy, okay? There's no point in me even trying, _he_ likes _you_. I can just tell. So you have to promise me something, okay?" Hyde asked through shaky breaths and free flowing tears. Donna nodded and pressed her forehead against Hyde's.

"Anything. Everything." She whimpered, he smiled and grabbed her hand, squeezing it tightly. She tried to ignore the boniness and chill to his once fleshy, warm hands.

"You and Forman are going to get together and get married. And you're going to make him happy, as well as yourself. You're going to pop out a couple of kids with the Forman name and live life happily. I just want him happy, _you_ happy. And if he's happy, then... that's all I want. That's all I care about. Then_ I'll_ be happy." Hyde stammered, shoulders lightly shaking from his sobs. Donna nodded and wiped away her tears, her arm draped over his shoulder.

"I promise you, Steven Hyde, I will make sure that Eric is happy."

_**End Flashback.**_

* * *

><p>Eric felt his heart break and skip a beat at the same time as he listened to Donna speak. Steven was in love with him and had been since they were eleven years old? And he'd rather see him happy than be with him? That was Hyde in a nutshell, a self-sacrificial and selfless guy, whether he believed it or not.<p>

It was so hard for him to leave Donna like this, but he had to. The last thing Eric wanted to do was lead her on. And maybe he and Steven _could_ be together after all.

_Right now that was all Eric wanted. _

After hearing about Hyde's difficulties caused by his own closeted homosexuality, and all the crap he had gone through in his past, Eric just wanted to hug him, to hold him. He could be there for him; as a friend, companion, partner, and lover.

_ Eric didn't want to waste anymore time._

"Donna, you don't know how sorry I am," She smiled and grabbed his hand.

"I will always be here for you, no matter what. _But_... you have to make it up to me!" She sang, her smile growing wider with every word. Eric felt his stomach drop at her words, and with a gulp he nodded.

"Anything," he finally agreed. He still couldn't get over the fact that she was completely okay about _everything_; it seemed almost surreal. _But he knew she would find a guy that would make her happier than he ever could. _

"Promise me something." Donna whispered, a serious tone to her voice. Eric nodded once more as he looked into her blue eyes. "Promise me that you will always be with Hyde until the end. He's been dealing with all of this on his own and to have you be there and with Hyde until he dies would make him the happiest person to ever have lived. Whether he shows it, or not. Promise me you'll make sure he is happy and safe, because knowing those two things will make _me_ happy. All he has ever wanted was you;_ let him have that while he can._" Eric felt a bittersweet grin spread on his face as he nodded, his fingers wiping away the tears from Donna's eyes and his own as well.

_"I promise on my life."_


End file.
